


The Sea is My Home

by WishIWereASquid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Cruise Ship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, EVERYONE IS ALIVE AND HAPPY, F/F, Fluff, Like seriously it's all fluff, Romance, nobody's dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 17:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6338698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishIWereASquid/pseuds/WishIWereASquid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin and Lexa Woods were high school sweethearts. Lexa broke Clarke’s heart when she ended things with Clarke right after graduation. 10 years later, they met again on a cruise ship. Lexa was the captain of the Bitanic, and Clarke needed peace after a breakup. Lexa wanted to redeem herself, but things were so different between them, especially when tagging along with Clarke, was her 7 year old daughter from her previous relationship</p><p>or</p><p>Cruiseship AU where Lexa loves grand romantic gestures and Octaven are dorks in love</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Octavia and Aunt Raven are here! Let’s go!”  
Clarke grinned from ear to ear when she heard her daughter’s tiny feet running to the door “I’m coming!”  
She hastily stuffed her sketchbook into her duffle bag and headed for the door, feeling even more excited than her little daughter. Clarke decided that their vacation to Polis Island was necessary. It had been 6 months since her breakup with Finn, and even though he still came around for their daughter, Clarke knew the event had taken a toll on the little girl.  
“Hurry up Griffin! That ship waits for nobody” Her best friend, Raven, yelled from the driveway. Clarke hauled her duffle bag and dragged along a suitcase then hurried to the car. She knew better than to piss off Raven “I can make it go boom” Reyes.

  
Raven and Clarke were inseparable ever since Raven defended Clarke when John Murphy made her cry on the playground when they were 5. Raven got a busted lip and bruised forehead after the fuss with Murphy, but she got an eternal best friend in return, which is a pretty cheap price to pay.

  
At the sight of Octavia, the little girl ran to her and O scooped her into her arms, peppering her puffy cheeks with kisses. It was no secret that O was her favorite, even Clarke was jealous of Octavia some times. Looking at Octavia and Raven playfully fighting over her daughter, Clarke felt a great appreciation for her friends. The couple had helped Clarke a lot after her breakup with Finn, from babysitting when her shift ran long at the hospital, to providing emotional support when it became too much. Clarke thought treating them for a 10-day vacation to one of the hottest spots would somewhat repay her friends for everything they had done for her

  
Clarke and her daughter slipped into the backseat of the car, Octavia got into the front seat, leaning over, giving Raven a peck on the cheek and Raven happily put the car into drive. Clarke had always admired their relationship. By a glance, anyone could clearly see that they belonged with one another. The way they looked at each other, the way they fight but then made up 5 minutes later because they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Clarke wanted that, and she couldn’t have it with Finn. She had that with someone before, but she was starting to doubt that she could ever experience that kind of love again. Putting unhappy thoughts in the back of her mind, Clarke brought her little daughter’s hand to her lips, feeling ecstatic for the getaway

  
********

  
They arrived at the departure dock after an hour of driving. The Bitanic was one of the biggest and most luxurious cruise ships out there with endless entertainment and delicious feasts. Clarke took her little daughter’s hand and boarded the ship. They were greeted with a grand staircase as soon as they stepped on the ship. Raven couldn’t help but let out a whoa, admiring the view before them. Bellboys immediately came and took their suitcases out of their hands, after they gave their names and room numbers, the young boy with goggle and his friend immediately took off with their stuff, promised it would be in their room safely, Clarke could only assume they were racing each other.

  
“I can’t say how much I appreciate you Princess. This is a damn fine ship” Raven pulled Clarke into her arms and kissed her forehead

  
“Only thing I could do after everything you guys have done for me” Clarke leaning into the embrace and for the first time in 6 months, she truly felt relaxed.

  
Raven stepped away and stood opposite from Clarke, looking into her best friend’s eyes “Don’t mention it Griffin, you know I’d do anything--” She froze mid-sentence. Raven stared wide-eyed over Clarke’s shoulder, as if she saw a ghost. The girl behind Clarke was indeed, a ghost from their past.

  
“Hello Clarke”

  
That voice, soft but stern. The voice that Clarke loved so much, the voice that Clarke had willed herself to forget, the voice that haunted many of her dreams. The pain the girl caused had been locked in a box and buried deep for 10 years, and now Clarke felt like the box was cracking, just by the sound of her voice

  
Clarke felt like time stood still while she had a back to the girl. Her heart was beating 100mph and her palms got sweaty. She could feel the girl’s eyes trained at the back of her head. Clarke wanted so much to turn around to stare into forest green eyes, to look at brown curls and impeccable jawlines again. So she did.

  
“Lexa” Clarke said, barely louder than a whisper, only enough for Lexa to hear. 

  
Clarke’s heart leaped to her throat at the sight of Lexa Woods. God Lexa was beautiful. Her green eyes bored right into Clarke’s blue and they were lost in their own little world. Clarke felt like she was on a trip back in time, when she was 15 and in love.

  
“Mommy, who is this lady?”

 

Both Clarke and Lexa snapped back into reality when they heard her little girl called out. Lexa looked shocked, she stared at the little girl then back at Clarke.

  
After a moment, she crouched down and extent her hand to the girl, shooting her a warm smile

  
“I am the Captain of this ship and I will keep you safe. What’s your name?”

  
She daringly stepped up and took Lexa’s with her little hand and gave her a shake

  
“My name is Alexandria, Alexandria Griffin”

  
“Alexandria? That’s…” She looked up at Clarke, who was now trying to avoid her eyes. Clarke felt her face was getting red and her tongue was tied. What do you say to your ex-girlfriend who broke your heart that after 10 years she still haunts your thoughts and you never truly let go?

  
“What a coincidence, my name is Alexandria too, people call me Lexa. But Alexandria really fits a beautiful princess like you” Lexa beamed at the girl who was now giggling.

  
“Hey Lexa, it’s been a while” Raven said, trying to ease the tension in the air “This is my girlfriend, Octavia”

  
“Pleasure to meet you Octavia, and it’s great seeing you again, Raven. I must after all the death threats, I’m a little bit scared of you now” Lexa said, giving the black-haired girl her infamous smirk.

“And I meant every single one of them. I’ve missed your obnoxious smirk Woods” Raven sassed back, she really did miss the girl. Except for abruptly dumping her best friend, leaving the girl completely and utterly heartbroken, Lexa was a great friend to her. Despite everything that happened, Raven still believed that Lexa had her reason for breaking up with Clarke, most of all, she still believed that they were made for each other. Wanting to leave Clarke and Lexa a moment for themselves, she scooped Alexandria up into her arms "What do you say we go explore the deck little princess? I'll maybe even let you have some ice cream." She turned to Lexa "I guess I'll see you around, Captain" and with that, Raven, O and Alexandria disappeared into the crowd  
  
Clarke was still staring at Lexa, unable to say a word. 

  
“She has your eyes” Lexa was smiling at her. God, her heart was beating even faster. Clarke wondered if her heart could break out of her ribcage and jump out of her body, because it certainly felt like it could.

  
“Um yeah, my eyes. People said she mostly looked like me, except for her dad’s brown hair” Clarke was still flustered. For the past 10 years she had been practicing the moment when she would see Lexa again and would give the girl a piece of her mind. But then theory and execution were far from each other. Lexa was there, looking at her with those green eyes that Clarke loved so much.

  
“Is her dad um… here? I would love to meet him” Lexa said as she looked around

  
“He’s not here. We actually broke up 6 months ago and I’m taking Alexandria on this trip as a reward for being such a tough girl through all this mess.”

  
“I see, I’m sorry to hear that” Lexa said, giving her a polite nod. Clarke could swear she saw a hint of smile at the corner of the brunette’s lips, but she decided she was just imagining things.

  
Now that Clarke had calm down, she noticed what Lexa was wearing. A pair of white slacks that compliments her curves, a white shirt and navy tie underneath a navy blazer. Her curly hair was in small braids and the captain’s hat of her head. Clarke knew that Lexa looked good in everything, but damn that girl can pull off a uniform. Clarke snapped out of her daze when she heard the brunette chuckle. The blonde’s face got red and she could feel her ears melt off of her head. Lexa had caught her staring, hard.

  
“Woods, we need you, we’re about to pull up the anchor” A woman wearing the same thing as Lexa came up behind her. She was beautiful, with her amazing cheek bones and exotic features

  
“Anya, this is Clarke Griffin. Clarke, this is Anya, my co-captain”

  
Anya’s eyes widen. “This is THE Clarke? Holy shit nice to meet you. Woods here talk about you all the time” Lexa elbowed her friend in the stomach, telling her to shut up

  
“Not sure if Lexa had another Clarke but I would like to assume I am THE Clarke. Nice to meet you, Anya” Clarke shook Anya’s hand, who was now clutching at her stomach for not keeping her mouth shut

  
“Please forgive her, she has no boundaries. Now if you excuse me Clarke, I have a ship to take care of. I’ll see you around” Lexa smiled at her and walked away. She only took a few steps before turning back “You look great Clarke. I’ve missed you”

  
Clarke’s heart is picking up the pace again. Lexa talked about the blonde to her friends, all the time, after all these years. Out of nowhere, Lexa broke up with her 10 years ago after their high school graduation. They were together all throughout high school, and those were the best years of Clarke’s life. She loved Lexa so much and even though they were young, Clarke never had a doubt in her mind that she was going to marry Lexa one day.

  
All along she thought that Lexa fell for another, or Lexa had stopped loving her. But Lexa still talked about her? Clarke was overwhelmed with this new information. Did the memories of Clarke haunt her nights like Lexa’s did to the blonde? Baffled, Clarke was starting to get dizzy. She decided she wasn’t going to let this go. She had to talk to Lexa, she needed an explanation. Maybe fate was giving them another chance to reconcile or at least get to an understanding of one another and get closure. After spending a few minutes to gather herself, she set off to find her daughter and friends. This vacation is going to be more interesting than Clarke thought it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be gentle. This is the first time I've written a fic and really want you guys' feedback. You can comment on here or DM me at http://wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com/


	2. Chapter 2

30 minutes after the fateful encounter with Lexa, the ship had already left the dock and they were now heading for Polis Island.  The ship was so big, the blonde was starting think it was quite impressive that Lexa was the captain of this thing.  It took Clarke a while to find the deck and as soon as she stepped outside, she couldn’t help but think money was well spent. The front deck had a gigantic swimming pool and water slides zigzagging right above it. There were already a few people lounging on the sunbeds by the pool with alcoholic beverages on hand. Despite how inviting it was to plop down and get a mojito herself, she got to find her friends and daughter first. Clarke finally found the trio by the ice cream stand.

 

“Alexandria, you’ve been super mean to me so no, you cannot have sprinkles. Maybe now you can reconsider all the time you picked Octavia over me” Raven playfully scolded the little girl, who was giggling in her arms

 

“Babe, we’re literally in the middle of the ocean and you’re still the saltiest thing here. Little princess loves me more and everyone knows it.” Octavia boasted, she then turned to the young girl behind the counter “Vanilla ice cream cone with plenty of sprinkles for my little princess please”

 

“Mommy, aunt Octavia got me ice cream with sprinkles!” The little girl grinned as soon as she saw Clarke walking to her “Where is Captain Pretty mommy?”

 

“Captain Pretty has to go do her duties now, little princess.” Clarke slightly blush at the name. Like mother, like daughter, she supposed.

 

“So that was Lexa huh? I now get why you’re still hung up on her after 10 years Clarke, ‘cause goddamn girl can get it! Her jawline looked like they were carved by God himself” Octavia exclaimed, earning a glare from her girlfriend “but you know I’d always pick you first, babe” She quickly soothed and gave Raven a peck on the lips, ignoring the sound of gagging noise from Alexandria

 

“Yep, that would be the infamous Lexa” Clarke sighed.

 

“So how was it? Seeing her again I mean.” Raven asked, hesitation in her voice. Lexa had always been a touchy subject to Clarke and she know better not to bring her up. But seeing Lexa again in the most unexpected of places must be hitting the blonde like a truck

 

“It was…confusing” Clarke paused “I met her friend, Anya, who mentioned that Lexa talked about me all the time. Can you believe that? Raven, have you ever thought there might be more than what she let on when she broke up with me?”

 

“Actually, yes” The dark-haired girl looked straight at Clarke, paused for moment to compose her words “You know how you left right after graduation for the early admission thing because you’re like a genius or whatever? Well, 2 months after you left, Lexa showed up at my place drunk off her ass at 2 in the morning”

 

_“Jesus Christ what the hell Lexa? Do you know what time it is?” I was fucking pissed. She had climbed the tree outside my window and knocked on the glass until she woke me up. I opened it and let her in. The girl immediately collapsed on my floor. It was such a surprised she could climb the damn tree_

_“You’re lucky my tools are downstairs, otherwise I’d make you go boom right now. What do you want, Lexa?”_

_“She’s gone Raven. My Clarke is really gone and I miss her. I miss her so much it feels like my heart is going to explode.” The carpet muffled her voice but I heard every single word. “I’m such a coward. I chose security over her, the love of my life and I’ve lost her forever” She was crying now so I dragged her drunk ass up to my bed._

_“I’m so sorry Raven, I didn’t know where else to go.” She sobbed “I shouldn’t act like this Raven, I shouldn’t. I made the choice to let her go. You should see the look on her face when I told her it was over. I hurt the person I love the most, I hurt her so bad Raven.” At this point she was still going on and on about how much she loved you and she fucked up blah blah. After a while, talking turned to mumbling and it looked like she was falling asleep so being the generous Goddess that I am, I took off her shoes and tucked her into bed._

_“Please don’t her tell her about this. Don’t tell Clarke. Promise me Raven”_

 

“And that was it, when I woke up, she was gone. A week later I heard she moved into her dorm at TonDC University and I haven’t seen her since” Raven finished the story, timidly looked at her best friend. She was ready for Clarke to explode, to yell at her to keeping this story from her all these years, instead Clarke looked rather occupied in her own thoughts

 

“She still loved me when she broke up with me? I need to talk to her Raven. I need to know why she did it. But it can wait, we have 10 days here, where can she go right?” She then turned to Alexandria “But now, let’s go to our rooms, get some sunblock on and we’ll go have fun okay little princess?”

 

******

 

 “What the hell Woods? Woods!”

 

Lexa jumped at Anya’s frustrated yell. She blinked at the hazel-eyed girl who was snapping her fingers, trying to get Lexa’s attention.

 

Anya sighed “Woods, I know you’re still dazed after your meeting with Clarke but damn, focus! We need to finish planning the alternative route of the ship since we can’t dock in Azgeda anymore”

 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… she has a kid, Anya, and she named her kid after me” Lexa took off her captain hat and rubbed her tired eyes “What does that mean? Why did she name her kid after me?”

 

“Woods, clearly she still has the hots for you. Did you see the way she looked at you? Girl was almost drooling.”

 

“All these years I thought she hated me for the way that I left things between us, that’s why I never contacted her, I wanted her to live her life peacefully without me. But the way she looked at me didn’t change. Still those blue eyes, full of love” Lexa rest her head on the table, trying to sooth the killer headache that she was sporting

 

“Woods, clearly you’re overthinking this. You’re single, she’s single. You know where she is, go talk to her. Lay your heart out, declare your undying love for her, she loves you too, boom, happy ending, and roll credits”

 

“Ha ha ha” Lexa laughed satirically “It’s not easy like that okay? We haven’t talked in 10 years, even if she feels the same, we can’t just jump right into it. She has a kids for god’s sake” Lexa stood up and walked toward the window of the control room. Her green eyes gazed upon the unwinding strips of blue sea. Lexa slowly let her mind wander to the first time she met Clarke, as corny as it sounds, she believed that first time she looked into Clarke’s eyes, it was love at the first sight

 

_“Lexa, meet me back here after school ok? Freshman hall is that way. Hurry up before you’re tardy on the first day. See you later sis” Lincoln, her foster brother said before running after his friends_

_“Here we go again” Lexa let out a sigh and muttered under her breath. This was the fourth school in the past 3 years. She had been in the system for as long as she could remember, and she was so sure this foster home wasn’t going to last long. Her foster family was very nice to her, one of the nicest she dared to say but she wasn’t going to put her hopes too high. She was just another delinquent floating from houses to houses until she’s 18, which was only 3 years away. She could totally power through this_

_Ark High School was exactly like any typical high school. You got the popular kids, the nerds, and the goths… Just by one look Lexa knew she was already done with this place. After 5 minutes, she managed to find her first class, English, more like a snooze fest.  Her first day uneventfully passed, the last bell rang and she jumped out of her seat, eager to get out of there as soon as she could. Lexa was rushing back to the parking lot to meet Lincoln but the sound of violin coming from the art studio caught her attention. She smiled, recognizing the familiar tune, “Saturn” by Sleeping at Last, one of her favorite songs. Curiously she pushed open the door. There was only one person in the room, a blonde girl, who was fixated on the canvas in front of her, lost in her own world, oblivious to Lexa’s intrusion. Her hips slowly swaying to the music, her head cocked to a side, trying to find a perspective for her painting. Lexa was gravitated towards this girl, all she knew that she wanted to be closer to the blonde, so she took a step forward. Another one, then another one. Unfortunately, she failed to notice a tray full of art supplies precariously placed on the table, and well, you know the rest. The plate, along with the supplies clattered to the floor, making both girls jump at the noise. The blonde stared at her wide-eyed and Lexa’s heart skipped a beat. Green stared into blue for the first time and Lexa knew she was done. This girl was gorgeous. Blonde wavy hair cascading down her back, cleft chin that complimented her features, a little beauty mark above her lips that made Lexa’s insides churned, even the paint on her face made she even more attractive. But her eyes, my god… Her eyes were the most exceptional of all. They looked like the ocean on a sunny day, blue with the hint of sparkles, the brunette couldn’t help but stare_

_“Um hi?” The girl finally spoke after what seemed like forever_

_“Oh shit, hi. Um I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I just heard the music and it’s my favorite song so I just came in, and god I’m so sorry, I made a mess” She crouched down starting to clean up the mess she made_

_The blonde crouched down too, meeting her eyes once again. “I’m Clarke” she smiled, extended her hand. Beautiful was an understatement, her smile knocked the wind out of the brunette. Lexa finally mustered enough sense into her to speak up, taking Clarke’s hand into hers. Warmth enveloped her instantaneously_

_“I’m Lexa”_

Lexa let out a breath, smiling fondly at the memory.

 

“Alright, let’s finish this thing” She turned to Anya, who was now absentmindedly typing on her laptop

 

She looked up, annoyed “About damn time”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this on Sunday but in honor of our Zimbio win, here it is! Clexakru rules! Sorry I write short chapters but I'll try to update as often as I can. Thank you so much for your patience and support. Again, talk to me at http://wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com/ for feedback or if you guys have any idea you want to incorporate into the story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke find out why Lexa broke up with her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! School has been kind of crazy. Again, let me know what you think at the comment or wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com  
> Enjoy!

By the time Clarke and the gang got back to their cabin after a whole day of exploring the ship, the sun was already drowning in the horizon. The last ray of light peeking through the cloud, then disappearing completely, leaving the Bitanic surrounded by darkness. They had an amazing day by the pool.  Tanning, drinking, feasting at the luxurious buffet, not a worry in the world, full vacation mode. As soon as her back hit the mattress, Alexandria was already fast asleep on one of the two queen beds.  She had to wake up early and spent a whole day in the sun, exhaustion was understandable. Clarke wasn’t surprised that the girl made a lot of new friends at the pool. Her daughter was confident and quite eloquent for a 7 year old, a leader in the making, as Clarke had been told by many

 

After a quick shower, Clarke came out to find Octavia and Raven were already snoring as they cuddled up on the other bed. Clarke smiled at the scene, so much for staying up all night and bond as Raven suggested earlier. Decided that it was too early to sleep, she tiptoed to her suitcase and pulled out her sketchbook. The blonde settled comfortably on the sofa and started sketching. Lines and curves simultaneously took their places on the blank paper and after god knows how long, a picture was finally forming. Clarke let out a breath and shook her head at the drawing.  The faultless jawlines, plump lips and piercing eyes were unmistakable, she had drawn Lexa again. This wasn’t the first time drew Lexa on accident, it happened rather often and Clarke literally had no power over it. Her mind wandered everywhere whenever she tried to find a muse to draw, somehow it always ended on green eyes and brown curls. The heart wants what it wants, even if the head was screaming no

 

2:00AM and Clarke still couldn’t sleep. She put the sketchbook down on the sofa, threw on a sweater and left the cabin, hoping the night would help her tangled mind. The night was calm and peaceful with a light breeze. Clarke made her way to the deck. It was so empty and quiet, contrary to the vibrant scene in the morning. The blonde thought she was alone when she saw a figure leaning over the rail at the bow of the ship. White slacks, white shirt, brown curls, and faultless jawlines, _unmistakable_.  

 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke made her way over to the white clad figure. _Here goes nothing_

“Shouldn’t there be a rules against drinking and steering humongous ships?” Clarke sarcastically asked when she came within earshot of the figure, eyeing the glass of alcohol she was holding.

 

Lexa jumped at the sudden intrusion, but immediately relaxed when she saw blonde hair and blue eyes

“I’m off the clock, Clarke. Don’t worry, Anya is on shift and she will make sure to steer away from icebergs”

 

Both of their lips curved up as Clarke came and leaned over the rail next to Lexa, leaving an appropriate space between them. They fell into a silence for a couple of minutes, both enjoying the lapping of waves against the sides of the ship. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t settling either.

 

“How’s Aden?” Clarke finally broke the silence. The memory of Lexa’s little brother made her smile. The boy had the biggest crush on Clarke and he wasn’t afraid to make it known. He proposed to her with a ring pop when he was 9 and vowed to make her the happiest girl on earth.

 

“He’s in college now. Junior year at TonDC University major in Polisci. He wants to be a leader and bring world peace one day. He still wants to marry you if you’re still up for it” Lexa joked, earning a laugh from the blonde. The heavenly sound that never failed to make Lexa’s heart jumped to her throat.

 

They fell into a silence again, both had so many questions for the other, but none was voiced.

 

“Do you hate me Clarke?” Lexa finally asked, her eyes still glued to the darkness ahead of them.

 

“I tried to” She paused, trying to find the right words “I figured hating you was easier than keep torturing myself. God I wanted to hate you so much, but I know I hated what you did, I could never hate you”

 

Clarke took in a shaky breath, turned to look at Lexa, finally found the courage to ask the question that had been on her mind all day long

 

“Why did you do it Lexa?”

 

Lexa turned to face her, green met blue once again “I was hoping you’d have some alcohol in you before you ask me that. Follow me” She then led Clarke to the bar by the poolside, gestured the blonde to sit on the stool, while she got behind the bar to make Clarke a drink.

 

Clarke watched as Lexa loosened her tie and rolled up her sleeves then busied herself with numerous bottles of liquor. _THUMP THUMP THUMP._ Her heartbeat was deafening, imagining all the possible answers, and how sexy Lexa looked working the cocktail shaker didn’t help.

 

After a few minutes, Lexa took the seat next to her and handed her a glass with some reddish pink liquid in it. Clarke took a swig out of it, hoping the alcohol will calm her nerves.

 

Lexa was looking at her again, the gaze much more intense this time. Clarke knew her too well to know that the girl was anxious. The blonde nodded, letting Lexa know that she was ready for her answer.

 

“Okay. Here goes” Lexa sucked in a long breath, and ran her fingers through brown locks “So you already know how my foster family was some hardcore religious people who would throw the Bible at me every chance they get and I had to hide our relationship from them because if they found out that I was gay, they’d send me back to the system in a heartbeat. Until this day, it still amazed me how understanding you were that I had to keep our relationship a secret.” She smiled at the blonde, who had already downed half of her drink. The alcohol was not helping at all, if anything, Clarke’s heart was beating even faster now. Her mind went back to the time when they had to sneak around, stole kisses at dark corners, and dates had to be at the next town. The relationship was not grand, but it was theirs, and it was the best 4 years of Clarke’s life.

 

“Well, turned out we were not as secretive as we thought we were. Lincoln found out about us halfway through senior year.” At that, Clarke’s eyebrows shot up, she was sure nobody knew of their relationship, except for Raven and her parents, who were all super supportive. Lexa chuckled at the blonde’s expression “Still that adorable look when something surprises you I see. Anyways, one day he misplaced his phone somewhere in the house and asked if I could use my phone to call it. I didn’t think twice and said yes, completely forgot that I was looking through our pictures earlier. Before I could stop him, he unlocked it and immediately saw a picture of us kissing. My legs turned to jello when he looked up at me”

 

_“Is that…Clarke? Lexa what is this?” He asked_

_I was terrified. He looked at me in the way I’d never seen he looked at anyone before. His kind eyes laced with disgust glued on me, waiting for my answer._

_“She’s my girlfriend. We’ve been together for almost 4 years.” I swallowed the lump in my throat_

_“Lexa you know that it’s not right. It’s not natural!”_

_“I love her Lincoln! I love her with all my heart and I want a future with her”_

_“Lexa you know there’s no future for you two. You guys are going to hell! That’s why you want to go to the school that’s on the other side of the country huh? You want to be with her!”_

_“Yes! She’s going to study art and I’ll study to be a lawyer. I want to marry her Lincoln, she’s the love of my life”_

_“Lexa this won’t do” He took a seat on the sofa, buried his head in his hands “I have to tell mom and dad. They’d never pay for your tuition if they knew, you can never be with that girl. Lexa, they’d kick both you and Aden out for sure. Listen, I love you guys, and I don’t want to separate you guys”_

_“Then keep to yourself! They don’t have to know! I’m leaving in a couple of weeks, please Lincoln”_

_“Lexa, you know I can’t do that, it’s wrong. I can’t lie to mom and dad” He stood up, took a shaky breath and continued “So I’m going to give you a deal, break up with her after graduation, apply for TonDC University, and I’ll keep my mouth shut. I’m giving you 3 months, cherish it. Tell me your decision tomorrow” He gave me one last look, grabbed his keys and left me alone in the house._

“His words sent ice shards through my heart. I was already 18 at the time, I wouldn’t even have to go back to the system, I could get a job and take care of myself, but Aden. He was only 12, they would separate us again and send him to god knows where. I couldn’t let it happen. We were finally in a good family, who didn’t use us as their punching bag or ash tray, and I know that they loved us like we were their real children. We had our own room in a house that we dared to call our home. They were so good to us, Clarke”

“So good that you made that deal” Clarke said, barely a whisper.

 

“I did. There was never a day that went by that I didn’t regret letting you go. I wanted my brother to have a safe, nurturing home to grow up in, so he wouldn’t have to suffer as long as I did. I made the decision with my head and not my heart, and the duty to protect my brother comes first. I’m sorry Clarke” Lexa ran her thumb over a circular scar on the back of her hand. She got that one when she was 7, when her foster father lost a football bet and she was closer to him than the ashtray. The man didn’t even flinch at her cries.

 

“Lexa, if they loved for real, they’d accept you for who you are. Even if they ended up kicking you out, my parents would of course take you and Aden in and support you both. They loved you guys like their own” Clarke reached over and place her hand on Lexa’s, stopping her from rubbing her scar. The touch sent jolt of electricity through their bodies.

 

“I realized that a little too late” Lexa said “I understand that my action hurt you greatly. There’s no words that can express how sorry I am and how much I regret it, but if you don’t forgive me, I understand, Clarke.”

 

“Lexa, after all the stories you told me about horrible foster homes, it was the right thing to do for you and Aden. It just hurt a little bit that you thought that I wouldn’t understand and you kept it from me. We could have worked it out together.” The blonde absentmindedly trace the scar on Lexa’s hand, smiled mischievously “I will forgive you, on one condition”

 

“Clarke, you know I’d do anything” Green stared right into blue, her teary gaze filled with hope

 

“You have to make it up to me. How, I don’t know. You have 9 days to make up for 10 years of pain. Up to the challenge Captain?” She smirked

 

Lexa stood up, taking both of Clarke’s hand in hers “Clarke Griffin, I swear to you that in the next 9 days, I will do everything in my power to make up for the pain that I’ve caused you in the past 10 years. I vow to treat your needs as my own and won’t stop until you are satisfied”

 

Clarke chuckled, _such a drama queen._ “Okay it is settled then. But I want to let you know, I’m not easy to please”

 

“I know, and I love you anyways” Both of them froze at the admission. Lexa wanted to punch herself in the face for letting it slip. She was still in love Clarke, god knew she was, but to tell her that so soon right after she agreed to forgive her was a dumb mistake

 

Lexa opened mouth to explain but all that came out was incomprehensible um’s and ah’s.

 

“Come on, first task is to take me back to my cabin. It was rather an emotionally drenched day and I’m exhausted” Clarke quickly said, pretended like the slip up didn’t happen. She tried to play it off but her heart was giving it away. One doesn’t need supersonic hearing to know that her heart was beating like drums from 10 marching bands

 

_Love, like in present tense and stuff?_

 

“As you wish” Lexa was still flustered but thankful that Clarke didn’t press on

 

//

 

They were standing at the door of Clarke’s cabin, not sure how to say goodbye. A hug? No, they weren’t ready for that kind of contact. A handshake? No, too formal.

 

“Goodnight, Captain” Clarke simply said, offered Lexa a smile, decided that this would be enough, _for now._

 

“Goodnight, Clarke” Lexa smiled back. They both looked at each other a little too long to be considered socially acceptable. Eyes flickered to each other’s lips but it was Clarke who teared away

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow” she slide her keycard and quickly let herself in the cabin, leaving Lexa on the other side of the door. Her daughter and best friends were still sleeping soundly. She slid in next to Alexandria and held her close, both her head and heart running full speed.

 

_Love? Like present tense and stuff?_


	4. Chapter 4

_“Lexa, do you think I should bring these hiking boots? I heard they have really nice hiking trails there, they would be perfect date spots” Clarke said as she wrestled with the pile of clothes on her bedroom floor, trying to fit them into the cardboard box. She was packing for college and her heart couldn’t be more excited. The thought of getting to hold her girlfriend’s hand in public and go on dates like normal couples gave her butterflies_

_“Clarke we need to talk” Lexa was sitting on the bed with her back against the wall, green stared right into blue deeply_

_At a glance, the blonde immediately knew something was up. She abandoned the pile of clothes and joined Lexa on the bed. She took the brunette’s hands in hers “Baby, what’s wrong?”_

_“I can’t do this anymore Clarke. It’s over” Lexa pulled her hands away from Clarke. Green still staring deep into blue_

_“What are you talking about? Lexa what’s going on?”_

_“I’m breaking up with you, Clarke”_

_The confirmation made Clarke’s heart drop to the floor. Her eyes were getting glossy, her hands desperately reached out for her girlfriend, but Lexa just pulled away. “Lexa, no. We were okay just now. Lexa what’s going on? I’ve noticed you’ve been acting strange lately and I keep thinking because you’re nervous about going away. Tell me what’s going on and we can work this out together” Tears were beginning to stream on her cheeks, her voice breaking at every sob_

_“I’m sorry Clarke” Lexa gave her one last look, got up and made her way to the door, leaving the blonde utterly confused and heartbroken_

_“Lexa I love you, please don’t do this” Clarke chased after her, arms sneaked around her waist from the back and held her tight. The blonde’s tears soaked her shirt_

_“We are going to college together, our future is laid in front of us. We have a plan!” Clarke’s head was buried at the crook of Lexa’s neck, but Lexa just stayed quiet. They stood still for what seemed like forever, the only sound was Clarke’s sobs filling the silent room. Finally, Lexa broke away from Clarke’s embrace. She quickly opened the door, slipped out, and never looked back at the crying girl._

_Clarke’s legs gave up and she collapsed on the floor, hands clutching her heart, hoping it would sooth the unbearable pain. She sat there and cried until her mom found her hours later._

Clarke slowly opened her eyes, wiped her wet cheeks against the already damped pillow case. She dreamt of that day often. The nightmares were always so hauntingly vivid that Clarke lost count of how many time she woke up with wet cheeks and hollow feelings in her stomach. She quickly glanced at the clock, 6:30AM, which meant she only had 2 hours of sleep since the encounter with Lexa. Decided that there was no use to try to sleep again, she groggily got off the bed and grabbed her clothes to get ready for their second day of vacation

 

//

 

“You forgave her? Just like that?” Octavia raised her eyebrow looking at Clarke questioningly

 

“Well it’s been 10 years, O. There’s no use of still hating her for what she did 10 years ago, not to mention that I understand her reasons now. Technically, I haven’t forgiven her yet. She still has to make it up to me” Clarke said as she popped a piece of bacon in her mouth. She caught her best friends up about the meeting with Lexa as they were having breakfast at the ship’s restaurant

  
“Please Princess, you clearly still have a thing for her. I saw the way you looked at the yesterday, I haven’t seen you looked at anyone like that since…well, her” Raven shrugged

 

“Speaking of which…she might and might not have told me that she loved me” Clarke chewed on her bottom lips as she looked at Raven and Octavia, whose eyes and mouths were wide open in shock

 

“SHE SAID WHAT?” They said in unison, loud enough to attract some irritated glares

 

“Be louder why don’t you?” Clarke huffed in annoyance “It was just a slip, maybe she tried to say _loved_ but forgot the _d._ Things happen”

 

“Speak of the devil…” Raven grinned

 

“Mommy, there’s Captain Pretty!” Alexandria cheered, pointing to the direction the restaurant’s entrance. None other than Lexa had walked in with Anya followed closely behind. Their confident strides and beaming smiles definitely looked like they both belonged on the runway.

 

Anya mischievously smiled when she saw Clarke looking at her and Lexa. She quickly dragged the brunette towards Clarke’s table, and when Lexa realized what was going on, it was too late

 

“Good morning Clarke Griffin” Anya, along with a very flustered Lexa, were now standing at Clarke’s table “I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Anya, I’m your co-captain” The blonde smiled as she offered her hand out to Raven and Octavia. Both of the girls respectively took it and introduced themselves.

 

“And who is this beautiful princess?” Anya’s attention was on Alexandria, who was busy smiling and making googly eyes at Lexa

 

Alexandria was surprised at the sudden attention, quickly diverted her eyes to Anya and stuck out her hand “My name is Alexandria Griffin, I’m Clarke Griffin’s daughter”

 

Anya raised her eyebrows in surprise at the girl’s confidence but her smile didn’t falter. She took the small hand in hers “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alexandria Griffin”

 

“Why don’t you guys join us? We were just starting anyways” Clarke invited

 

“Clarke, we don’t want to …” Lexa couldn’t even get half of the sentence out before Anya interrupted her “Of course, it should be fun” Anya practically pushed Lexa down an empty chair then quickly took a seat herself.

 

“So Clarke, what do you do?” Anya asked

 

“I’m a trauma surgeon at Arkadia Hospital”

 

“Surgeon?” Lexa looked up from the menu in surprise “I thought you studied art, Clarke?”

 

“Well when you were blessed with this bundle of joy when you were 21, you’d need to study something that could bring more income and stability. Plus I still do art on the side, whenever I can” Clarke said as she reached over and gave Alexandria a side hug, and kissed her temple. “What about you Lexa? What happened to being a lawyer?”

 

Lexa chuckled at the question, it seemed like a lifetime ago since she last thought that her dream was to be a lawyer “Sophomore year of college, I took an oceanography class as an elective and I went on a field trip to a navy base to learn about ships, how to navigate and stuff like that. We got to sit down with the sailors and listened to them talked about their daily lives, duties and their love for the country, and it inspired me. At this point, I was already doubting my decision to be a lawyer, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life drowning in paperwork and argue for a living, so I dropped out, and joined the navy.” She received some questionable look from her listeners “I know what you guys are thinking but the decision wasn’t rash. I thought about it over and over for a long time. I’ve never regretted that decision for a day and my years in the navy turned out to be the best years of my life.”

 

Lexa took a sip of her coffee and continued “I learned so much during my 4 years there and I fell in love with the sea in the process. So after I left the navy, I attended the Marine Academy, earned my degree, worked my way up, and here I am”

 

“I guess none of us became the person we thought we would huh?” Clarke said, her toned laced with a little bit of sadness but it didn’t go undetected by Lexa

 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean we’re different people, just different dreams” The brunette gave her a tight lipped, but genuine smile.

 

After an hour of chatting, Lexa found out that Raven was a mechanical engineer, _guess one of us became who we wanted to be,_ Octavia was in the S.W.A.T team, and Alexandria was the top of her class and would be running for class president when school comes back in the fall.

 

They all made small jokes here and there, laughter filled almost empty dining room. Clarke realized that the sense of comfort she used to feel with Lexa was gradually coming back, as if the last 10 years never happened. They teased and laughed with each other like old friends, but the looks they gave one another were everything but platonic.

 

“Alright ladies, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you all, but Woods and I have some badass duties to attend to.” Anya said as she rose from her seat, Lexa followed suit “See you all around”

 

Lexa flashed Clarke a warm smile, nodded politely at them and disappeared behind the restaurant doors with Anya

 

“Earth to Clarke, stop staring! You’re drooling” Octavia teased, nudging the blonde with her elbow

 

“I am so not!” Clarke fought back, wiping at her chin, just in case she really was drooling

 

“Mommy, you so are. It’s ok though, Captain Pretty is really pretty” Alexandria shrugged, making her mom blush. She quickly finished the last of her orange juice then bounced off her seat, tugging her mom’s hand “Now, let’s go. I was promised mini golf!”

 

//

 

“Alright Princess, now it’s just us two, spill the tea.” Raven looked with her, eyes filled with sincerity. “How are you really feeling?”

 

“I honestly don’t know Raven. It’s so confusing. She makes me feel like I’m 18 again, like our breakup never happened, like…”

 

“Like you guys are still in love” Raven diverted her eyes to Octavia who was yelling and swinging her golf club furiously at a gnome statue that blocked her winning shot, and Alexandria laughing uncontrollably at her rage.

 

“Yeah, like we’re still in love” Clarke sighed. She looked up, taking in the ocean breeze and smiled at Alexandria’s attempt to hold Octavia back from destroying the statue

 

“Have you ever thought that you guys never stopped loving each other? I mean, the love that you shared, the way you guys loved each other, you only get that kind of love once. It’s like winning the lottery, you know”

 

Clarke stayed quiet, frowning lightly and taking in her best friend’s words. _Could it be true?_

 

“Whatever the case is, I trust your judgement Princess. Just please don’t rush into this. Make sure she’s serious about this”

 

“Raven, she just wants to make up to me, just an apologetic gesture. I don’t think there’s any hidden agenda there” Clarke tiredly rubbed her face, sleeplessness evident in her bloodshot eyes

 

Raven laughed out loud at her words “Please, there’s always hidden agenda with you guys. It’s inevitable”

 

“Mommy, aunt Raven! We’re moving on to the next hole, let’s go!” Alexandria called out for them, her hand still on Octavia, keeping her at bay

 

“We’re coming! Get ready to beg for mercy!”


	5. Chapter 5

“Captains, everything is going according to plan. We should be docking at Mount Weather by tomorrow morning”

 

“Thank you for the update Monroe” Lexa smiled brightly at her first mate, making the girl blush. When Monroe was back at her post, Anya rolled her eyes at the other co-captain “Woods, you got to stop being so damn charming all the time. This ship can’t function properly if 75% of its crew is drooling over you”

 

Lexa just chuckled at the comment and turned her attention back to the control board in front of her.

  
“You’re in a good mood” Anya observed “Normally you’d have something snarky to say to that, does it have anything to do with a certain blonde?” She smirked

 

“Yes, it has everything to do with a certain blonde hair blue-eyed beauty” Lexa sighed, smiling at the thought of Clarke.

 

“Urgh I’ve never seen you like this, even when you were with Costia, you were never this disgusting” Anya grimaced, swatting her hand in front of Lexa, effective snapping her out of her daydream

 

Lexa chuckle “I am not disgusting, just dazing out a bit. Clarke and I are mending things, I wouldn’t dare to think of her like that” She walked away from the control board and out of the balcony that oversaw the whole ship. Lexa leaned on the rails, closing her eyes to enjoy the way ocean breeze blow through her hair

 

Anya came up right next to her and chuckled “Mending my ass. You give her heart eyes whenever she’s in the room. It’s like everybody just fades into the background and she’s the brightest and clearest one you see”

 

“I never stopped loving her Anya, you know that. For the past 10 years, I tried so hard to move on but you see how things worked out with Costia. I did love her but there was no spark, not like when I was with Clarke.” She sighed at the thought of Costia. She was beautiful, intelligent and caring, everything a girl could ever want. Lexa tried so hard to give Costia the love she rightfully deserve, but it just wasn’t enough “I feel like the universe is giving us another chance, and me another chance to make it right. It will have to be a while before I dare to say anything to Clarke though. I don’t think she’s ready for that” At that, Anya gave her a look making Lexa’s cheeks redden at the detail of her letting the L word slip “Fine, I wouldn’t dare to say anything on _purpose_ for now”

 

Anya nudged Lexa with her elbow and pointed at the mini golf course below “Guess I’m starting to know why you’ve been in love with this girl for half of your life. There’s something about her that just seems so genuine, making you like her almost instantly”

 

Lexa looked at Clarke from above, warmth instantly engulfed her and butterflies overran her stomach. “Yeah, she’s pretty damn amazing” Both her and Anya chuckled at Raven’s blatant attempt to cheat. They laughed even harder when the attempt was caught by Octavia and now Raven was doing frog jumps as punishment.

 

“What do you think about the Wallace World? We’re docking at Mount Weather for 2 days and I want to invite them to the theme park. We could all go An, it would be really fun”

 

“Try to contain the heart eyes or roller coasters wouldn’t be the reason for my projectile vomit”

 

Lexa busted out laughing and lightly punched her friend in the arm “Shut the hell up”

 

//

 

4:00PM, Clarke, Octaven and Alexandria were lounging in their cabin after 3 rounds of mini golf and Octavia was crowned the queen. Clarke tried to sneak in a power nap since she was only able to get 2 hours of sleep the night before.

 

After a while Clarke was startled awake by someone knocking on their door. She opened her eyes and saw her daughter and friends were also out cold. Groggily, she got to her feet and opened the door

 

“Hello, I am here for Miss Griffin”

 

Clarke looked at the young guy with heavy lidded eyes “This is she”

 

“I’m so sorry to disturb your rest but I am here to deliver this for you from Captain Woods.” He handed her the bouquet of sunflowers he was holding “She also would like to extend her invitation to you and your company to dinner with her and Captain Grounds”

 

Clarke smiled as graceful as she can in her half asleep state, thanked him for his trouble and retreated back to her room.

 

“What was that?” Octavia were awakened by all the noises. She didn’t open her eyes but snuggled even closer to her sleeping girlfriend

 

Clarke grinned at the bouquet of flowers in her hands “She remembers”

 

“Who remembers what?” Raven was awake too, she sat up on the bed and Octavia nuzzled even closer to her. The dark-haired girl’s eyebrow shot up when she saw what Clarke was holding “Wow, sunflower huh? I hate to admit but that girl got game. Wasn’t that what she gave you on your first date Princess?”

 

“Yeah” Clarke’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling. Her heart sped up at the memory of their first date, a night she certainly could never forget

 

//

 

_14 years ago_

_“Rae do you think she will like this outfit? This is like the 5 th one I try on but something still doesn’t feel right. She told me to just dress casually but I’m not really sure” Clarke was standing in front of her mirror, head cocked to the side trying to figure out if this is the right outfit. She was wearing tight skinny jeans that hugged her at the right places, a simple white blouse with her favorite leather jacket on top, finished off with black ankle boots. _

_“Princess you look fine as hell, stop being a nervous wreck. Lexa will have to pick her jaw up when she sees you in this” Raven assured her_

_“Thanks Rae. We’ve been hanging out a lot in the past 4 months but this is our first official date.  I want it to be perfect” Clarke stepped closer to the mirror, taking one last look at her makeup and hair_

_“Clarke are you sure about this? It took you a lot of courage to come out to your parents but now you’re stepping into the closet again, is it really worth it?” Raven was leaning against her window, arms crossed, looking at Clarke with all of her seriousness_

_“I’m sure. I really like her and I’m sure she’s worth it. Plus, it’s not like we’re keeping a secret from everyone, the people who we care about the most know, that’s what matters” Clarke smiled as she pulled Raven into a tight hug, feeling so grateful that the black-haired girl always had her back_

_“Clarke! Your date is here” Clarke let go of her best friend when she heard her mother’s voice from downstairs. Not even a moment later, Raven and Clarke were descending from the stairs. She could hear Lexa voice as the girl small talked with her parents. The sight of the brunette knocked the wind out of her lungs. Her denim button down was tucked into her tight white jeans, curled brown hair cascaded down her back. Lexa was truly beautiful._

_At the sound of Clarke’s footstep, Lexa turned around and her jaws went slacked. They could have stood there and stared at each other for eternity but Abby, Jake, and Raven’s giggles brought them back to reality._

_“Hi you” Clarke said as she took the final steps of the stairs to stand right in front of Lexa_

_“Hi” Lexa said, barely loud enough for Clarke to hear. Nervously, she handed Clarke a bouquet of sunflowers, which the blonde gracefully received._

_“Alright you two, your mother and I also have a date so go go go. Lexa, I entrust you with my most precious, please bring her back by 11PM, otherwise we’d have a problem on our hand” Jake said, half joke half serious_

_Clarke slipped her hand into Lexa’s, and gave her an encouraging squeeze “Yes sir, I will not betray your trust and I will treat your daughter with the utmost respect”_

_“Now that’s what a dad wants to hear. Have fun you two”_

_//_

_“Wow that was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever done in my life” Lexa said as they got into the car. She let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding_

_Clarke chuckled at the nervous ball in front of her “Lexa relax, you did great. My parents really like you, and you even won the approval of a far more dangerous person, Raven” Clarke reached over and intertwined their hands together “Alright, where are you taking me Lexa Woods?”_

_“Clarke, before we go, I just want to say how thankful I am that you are so understanding with this whole hiding thing. My foster parents are not exactly liberal about-” Before she could finished, Clarke leaned over and gave the rambling girl a kiss of the cheek, which effectively calmed her down_

_“Lexa, we already went over this. I understand you do what you have to do. You’re amazing and I want to give us a chance” Lexa nodded at Clarke’s reassurance_

_“Let’s go then”_

_//_

_“Do you have to pick up something from work?” Clarke confusedly looked at the office building where Lexa worked part time as a front desk receptionist._

_Lexa didn’t say anything but slipped out of the car, jogged to the passenger’s side and chivalrously opened Clarke’s door for her. The blonde was still confused when she stepped out of the car “Are you selling me or something?”_

_Lexa still didn’t say anything. She just smiled at the blonde and took her hand, leading her to the lobby of the building_

_“Hi Ryder, Nyko” Lexa smiled charmingly at the big men sitting behind the security desk. They both smiled warmly at the girls “Hey Lexa. So this beautiful girl is Clarke Griffin huh?”_

_“Thank you and yes I am Clarke Griffin” Clarke blushed and offered her hands to the big men, who both shook it so gently comparing to their physical sizes_

_Lexa nodded at them then Ryder excused himself to go on a security sweep. Clarke frowned at the interaction, knowing that they were up to something. After Ryder was out of sight, Nyko handed Lexa a key, which she took, thanked him and before Clarke knew it, they were in the elevator heading for the top floor._

_“I don’t know what you’re up to Lexa Woods, but if you’re planning to kill me, please know that I will haunt you until eternity” Clarke said jokingly to mask the nervousness that had been building in her stomach_

_Lexa chuckled “Please Clarke, don’t be crazy. No use of me killing you, I can’t annoy you if you’re dead”_

_They finally reached the top floor but instead of going into the office area, Lexa pulled her into the emergency staircase. They walked up a flight of stairs and were faced with a door. The brunette let go of Clarke’s hand and slipped the key Nyko gave her earlier and unlocked the door. She then turned to the blonde and smiled. “Clarke Griffin, please close your eyes”_

_Clarke did as instructed and felt Lexa opening the door. She led Clarke through the threshold and the blonde immediately felt the spring breeze on her face_

_“Open your eyes”_

_And she did. They were standing on the roof of the building and Clarke immediately teared up as she saw the sight in front of her. String lights were hung from one end of the roof to the other. In front of them was a small picnic table with a nice table cloth and a vase full of sunflowers in the middle of the table. Farther down Clarke saw a couch with blankets and pillows on it, opposite was a projector screen. The light of the city on the background illuminated the scene and it was absolutely romantic_

_“Did you do all this?” Clarke turned to Lexa, trying to keep her tears at bay_

_Lexa pulled her close and wiped away a stray tear with her thumb “I planned but Nyko and Ryder helped me a lot. They are breaking a lot of rules for us to be here, so you better behave” With that, Lexa led her toward the table, pulled out a chair for her, and quickly took a seat of her own. Moments later Ryder emerged at the door with two plates in his hands_

_He set down the plates in front of each girl “Ladies, please enjoy your evening” Both of them thanked him and he disappeared down the stairs_

_“Did you make this?” Clarke looked at the delicious looking pasta plate in front of her_

_“I certainly did. But they’re not fresh though, I made them this morning and dropped it off here. Ryder heated it with the microwave so it wouldn’t be as good”_

_Clarke nodded as she took the first bite and hum in approval._

_“Oh my god, you’re a heavenly cook”_

_“I know” The brunette laughed_

_//_

_Dinner was amazing. Clarke felt like she got so much closer to Lexa as the dinner progressed. When the brunette shared her horrible foster homes stories, sending shards through her heart with each scar she showed. They told each other stories from their childhood, biggest fears and lifelong dreams._

_“My dream is to one day have my own art exhibition” Clarke dreamily said_

_“Mine is to marry the girl I love, and have little Lexas running around.”_

_“What a sap” Clarke chuckled, feeling her stomach churned. She wanted those things too. But more importantly, she wanted those things with Lexa_

_//_

_They were now cuddling on the couch as Moulin Rouge, one of Clarke’s favorite movie, was playing. Not even 15 through the movie, Clarke was already losing focus as she kept taking occasional peeks at Lexa. She was mesmerized by the other girl’s beauty. The way her green eyes light up whenever a funny scene came up, or how her plump lips mouthing along with the songs, every little detail about her made Clarke’s heart beat faster_

_“Are you going to watch the movie or just keep staring at me like that?” Lexa teasingly said but her eyes were still glued to the screen_

_“Not my fault you’re so beautiful it’s distracting”_

_“Damn Griffin, you’re smooth. Keep it up and maybe you can get a good night kiss later” Lexa turned to look at Clarke. Green staring deep into blue, they both felt like time had stopped. Clarke saw Lexa’s eyes flicker to her lips and that was the last push she needed. The blonde leaned closer_

_“Later? Why not right now?” She whispered, leaned in a little closer, then Lexa closed the gap between them_

_The kiss was chaste, and gentle. They slowly move their lips against each other, carefully not letting the other know how nervous they were. As cliché as it sounded, Clarke felt like there were millions of fireworks erupting inside her gut at the same time. Lexa pulled back and rest her forehead against Clarke’s. “Wow”, she whispered. The blonde smiled and close the distance between their lips again. They both smiled into the kiss, feeling content with their date. Clarke knew she was in trouble, this girl could absolutely break her, but she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind at all_

//

 

“I’m telling you Clarke, she’s definitely trying to woo you. Everyone sees it but you” Octavia pointed out as they were all walking together to the dining room.

 

“No she’s not O. She’s just trying to make it up to me. Plus I don’t even know if she’s single!” Clarke protested, earning eye rolls and groans from all 3 of her companions

 

“Mother, please listen to me” Alexandria took a few quick steps ahead, turned and looked at Clarke “Captain Pretty is definitely trying to make up to you, but she’s also trying to court you in the process, and with my observation, she’s doing a very good job in both.”

 

“Alexandria, you’re 7! Where do you learn all these things?” Clarke narrowed her eyes at the little girl, who was now giggling uncontrollably

 

“Mommy, I’m 7 but not clueless” With that she ran into Octavia’s arms and got scooped up by the brunette “Plus, I learned from the best” Then she dropped an obnoxiously loud kiss on the woman’s cheek.

 

Clarke chuckled, shook her head “Whatever. Y’all ganging up on me” Feigning hurt and took a few last steps to enter to dining room, her companions followed close behind

 

Upon entering, she immediately noticed the Lexa and Anya standing at the hostess podium. Lexa had just said something to the hostess, making the girl giggle and blush like a fool. Clarke shifted uncomfortably at the sight. _Such a flirt._

 

“You guys made it” Lexa said when she noticed them walking in, smile still plastered on her faultless face

 

“We never turn down free food” Raven said

 

“Right this way please” Anya gestured them inside the dining room. They were seated at the table with the most beautiful view in the room, looking out to the dark ocean

 

“So to whom do we owe the honor of dining with the 2 hottest Captains on this ship?” Raven raised her eyebrow teasingly at the ladies across the table

 

“Hottest and only 2 Captains of this ship” Anya smirked “And we want to return the favor, since you guys were too kind to invite us to breakfast this morning”

 

 “So Raven, how did you and Octavia meet?” Raven and Octavia looked at each other and busted into a fit of giggles at Lexa’s question

 

“Babe you want to tell our legendary story or should I?” Raven reached over and pulled her girlfriend closer

 

“You did it last time, I’ve got this” Octavia dropped a kiss on Raven’s cheek then cleared her throat

 

//

 

_6 years ago_

_So this was when I was freshly out of the police academy and I was super excited on my first week of job. I was out patrolling with my hardass veteran partner, Indra_

_“Code 10-73 at 15102 Livingston Drive, smoke was spotted and reported by neighbor. Any nearby patrol car please response”_

_As soon as Indra heard the address, she let out the biggest sigh as humanly possible and reached out for the radio “This is squad car 176, on our way to take care of the 10-73”_

_“This is the 3 rd one in this month. That girl is always up for trouble” Indra sighed as she turned on the emergency light, and stepped on the gas pedal. When we got there, the open garage was filled with white smoke but there was no sign of fire._

_“RAVEN REYES! How many times did I tell you to stop pulling shit like this? This is the 3 rd time this month for god’s sakes!” I jumped at the my partner’s booming voice _

_“Sergeant Forrest! It’s so nice to see you again!” A voice yelled back from inside the garage. Not a moment later, a figure came running outside, and as you all can guess, it’s this one right here. She was wearing her favorite baseball tee, tight skinny jeans and dust smudges on her cheeks with the brightest smile on her face. Still one of my favorite looks of all time_

_“Sergeant Forrest please be understanding I’m a creator, and not everything I create turn out like the way I--”_

_“85% of the time it blows up in your face. I’m surprised you’re still in one piece” Indra scoffed and shook her head “Blake, stay with her, I’ll go get the report and cancel the firetrucks”_

_“Blake huh? I’ve never seen you before. My name is Raven, but you probably already know that” She gave me the most flirtatious smile ever and naïve ol’ me fell for it_

_“Um yea, Octavia Blake. This is my first week on the job. So I heard you’re a trouble maker?” I said back, determined not to let her win_

_She chuckled “Well, don’t tell Sergeant Forrest but I like to make things go boom, hence her weekly visit. Can’t blame me because I’m a freaking genius with nothing better to do” With a smug on her face, she took a step closer, invading my personal space, strangely enough I didn’t mind at all._

_“You’re a cocky piece of shit aren’t you?” I chuckled, giving her a light shove on the shoulder_

_“Officer Blake, do you ever date cocky piece of shit?”_

_“Maybe, but I’d much prefer cocky piece of shit who likes to blow up stuff though”_

_//_

“And the rest, as they say, is history”

 

“Wow, that story is adorable. Not as adorable as mine and Clarke’s but still pretty comparable” Lexa said, earning a mixture of scoffs and giggles from the rest of the table

 

“Captain Pretty, are you in a relationship with anyone right now?” The whole table froze at Alexandria’s question. Clarke’s eyes went wide at her daughter, who was having a _you’re welcome_ look on her face

 

“Captain Pretty?” Lexa chuckled at the nickname then cleared her throat “No, Alexandria, I’m not with anyone right now” Her eyes looked straight as Clarke, whose face was turning bright red “So Alexandria, I was thinking tomorrow we’re docking at Mount Weather, and they have a super awesome theme park called Wallace World. What do you say we all go together?”

 

The little girl’s face lit up at the mention of theme park, she turned to her mom, who was still trying to suppress her blush “Mommy can we go please? Please?”

 

“Yes little princess, we can all go, it’ll be fun” At her mom’s permission, Alexandria bounced up and down her seat, failing to contain her excitement.

 

Their food arrived shortly after and the conversation over dinner was animated with Raven’s jokes, Anya’s snarky remarks. Clarke and Lexa stayed relatively quiet, laughing along with some jokes but their eyes mostly stayed glued on each other, tight lipped smiles were exchanged from times to times.

 

//

 

Dinner came to an end and Anya excused herself to go back to her post, entrusting Lexa to walk the gang back to their cabin. After quickly exchanging their goodbyes and thank yous, Clarke, Octavia and Alexandria quickly slipped into their room. Just as Lexa turned her back, Raven cleared her throat, getting the brunette’s attention.

 

“Lexa, can I talk to you real quick?” Raven eyes trained on Lexa who just gulped down a lump in her throat. The dark-haired girl finally moved to lean against the rails, waiting for Lexa to take the spot next to her “What’s your intention with my best friend?”

 

Lexa turned to face the engineer “I want to make up for the pain I’ve caused her”

 

“Cut the shit, I know you two better than anyone. Now tell me the truth before I chuck you off board”

 

Lexa sighed “Fine. I’m still in love with her okay? For the past 10 years, there was never a day that went by that I didn’t miss her. After our first date, I knew that I was in love with her and she was it for me, but I fucked up. I believe that life brought us together one more time so that I can redeem myself. Even if she can never trust me with her heart again, at least I can have closure”

 

“I KNEW IT! One can spot your heart eyes from miles away!”

 

“Okay, what the fuck is this heart eyes that everybody is talking about. Am I the only one that doesn’t know it” Lexa rolled her eyes at Raven, who was grinning excitedly

 

“Lexa Woods, I now deem you worthy to court my best friend. I know she still has feelings for you, just need a little shove. Which is why, I have decided to help you two love sick idiots”

 

“Raven, I thank you for your thoughts but if Clarke was to decide that we could try again, I want her to realize it herself” She smiled at Raven appreciatively

 

“Eh, for a super smart surgeon, that girl is pretty dense when it comes to you. I won’t meddle, but I will create opportunities for you. Don’t let me down” She raised her eyebrows threateningly at Lexa. To her surprise, the brunette took a step closer, and pulled her into a hug. After a moment of astonishment, Raven circled her arms around Lexa’s neck, hugging her tight “I’ve missed you idiot”

 

After they pulled away, both girls tried to discretely wipe away a tear in their eyes. “Thank you Raven”

 

The engineer nodded in return then opened the door and disappeared into the cabin, leaving Lexa light headed with an overwhelming feeling of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think at the comment or wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com  
> Enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think at the comment or wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com  
> Enjoy!

“Lexa, just do it, I promise you it’s going to work”

 

“Raven, I don’t know, it sounds so stupid”

 

“Woods, I never thought you were such sacredly cat. It will work, trust us!”

 

The threesome have their backs to Clarke, Octavia and Alexandria as they whispered not very lowly. The blonde raised her eyebrows at the interaction that was going on in front of her. Earlier, Raven took off to meet up with Lexa and Anya at the deck while Clarke, Octavia and Alexandria were getting ready for their day at Wallace World. Octavia cleared her throat, catching Raven, Anya and Lexa’s attention. They jumped at the interruption and turned to face the trio.

 

Clarke’s breath hitched when she had the chance to notice that Lexa was out of uniform and was wearing her normal clothes for the day. The brunette had on khaki short shorts with a loose white tank top, flaunting her arm tattoo that Clarke never seen before. The tribal designs intricately wrapped around Lexa’s toned arms. It wasn’t helping that the girl had legs that went for days and the muscles were so well defined. Clarke swallowed the lump that was stuck in her throat, and used all of her will power to tear her stare away from Lexa’s body only to look up and met green eyes. Lexa was smirking knowingly at her. Her ears turned red when she realized she had been caught staring yet again.

 

“What are you three up to?” Octavia narrowed her eyes, and looked at her girlfriend questioningly

 

“Nothing, baby. We are just very excited about our fun day in the sun.” She then leaned down and scooped a very jumpy Alexandria into her arms “Right Little Princess?” In response, the little girl just nuzzle her head into the crook of Raven’s neck, trying to hide her excitement

 

“Lexa, how are you?” Clarke asked, trying to avoid the brunette’s eyes. In return, the girl just stayed silent and looked at her. The blonde frowned at the weird behavior and at the corner of her eyes, she could see Raven and Anya trying not to laugh “Um, Lex? Are you okay? Why aren’t you talking?”

 

“I don’t want to talk because I’m afraid the butterflies in my stomach will fly away” Lexa finally said, green stared right into blue

 

Raven and Anya could no longer contain their amusement. Their roaring laughter filled the whole deck as all of the blood in Lexa and Clarke’s bodies rush to their faces. Octavia and Alexandria joined in not too long after with their slight giggle, not trying to further embarrass Lexa but they just couldn’t help it.

 

“Oh my god, she actually did it” Anya said when she tried to stop laughing, taking some quick gasps of breath. When Lexa turned to face her with murderous eyes and red face, the blonde busted out laughing even harder

 

“Both of you are dead. You told me it was a good line!” Lexa took some threatening steps toward Anya and Raven who were now clutching at their stomachs.

 

“We didn’t think you would actually do it!” Raven threw her hands up in the air to surrender, trying so hard to stop laughing that her face turned to another shade of red

 

“I will remember this” She then turned on her heels and headed to the flight of stairs leading off board, not daring to look at Clarke

 

Clarke was flushed with the sudden forwardness in Lexa. She knew Lexa always loved cheesy pickup lines but to drop something like that after 2 days of giving her terse words, tight lipped smiles and glances was an unexpected, but not unwelcomed, change.

 

“Princess let’s go before Captain Hot Head really leaves us behind” She snapped out of her trance when she heard Raven called. Hurriedly, she tightened the straps on her backpack and followed her companions down the flight of stairs leading to the docks of Mount Weather

 

//

 

“Sweetie, are you sure about this? That thing looks really really tall” The group was now standing at the first and biggest attraction of Wallace World. The roller coaster, called “The Mountain Men”, was 170ft off the ground and 4000 feet long, one loop-de-loops is placed right after the first initial drop, after that was about 300 feet of twists and turn and a corkscrew taking the car high up, then followed by another frightening drop, just the sight of it made Clarke’s legs turned into jelly

 

“Please mommy. I’m finally tall enough to be on roller coasters so I want my first time to be with something awesome like this!” Alexandria made her infamous puppy eyes at her mom, whilst tugging at her sleeves to move toward the roller coaster.

 

“Clarke I can accompany Alexandria if you’d let me.” Lexa said from behind her

 

She turned around and gave Lexa an appreciative nod “Thanks Lexa, but I want to experience my daughter’s first roller coaster with her so let’s go. We all have to go!” No protests were made as all of the ladies, except for Clarke, were adrenaline junkies. Lexa silently smiled at Clarke’s paled face. She knew the girl was never a fan of roller coasters but she was doing it for her daughter, which Lexa though was very admirable

 

After 30 minutes of waiting in line, they were finally at the front with Alexandria giggling non-stop, failing to contain her excitement. The coaster car had only 3 rows with 4 seats on each row. Lexa settled on the farthest seat on the left on the front row, followed by Clarke, Alexandria and Octavia. Raven complained about her girlfriend choosing Alexandria over her but still took a seat next to Anya on the second row with two random teenagers.

 

After they were all ready to go, the buzz bars lowered down on their shoulders and Lexa noticed Clarke’s knuckles turned white because of the iron grip she had on the bar

 

“And we go!”

 

The young employee yelled loudly and the car was put in motion. The track leads them higher and higher as Lexa could hear Clarke trying to calm herself by taking deep breaths but it wasn’t working, her grip became tighter on the buzz bars. They were about 10ft away from the first drop then suddenly, Clarke took Lexa’s hand in hers, intertwined their fingers and the blonde squeezed her hand hard. The touch sent goosebumps to Lexa’s skin, her heart picked up the pace and her insides turned to jelly. This was the first time Clarke touched her since their first encounter after 10 years. The warmth of Clarke’s hand and their threaded fingers reminded her of the first time they held hands, it reminded Lexa of _home._

 

She looked down at the intertwined hands and back up at Clarke, but her eyes were squeezed shut, hoping the ride would be over soon. Lexa felt her heart flutter at the sight of the blonde, but before she had time to appreciate Clarke’s beauty up close, the coaster car reach the top of the track and they were sent flying downward.

 

//

 

“Oh my god, that was not a good idea” Clarke tumbled out of the exit of the roller coaster, her hand clutching her stomach, trying to keep herself from throwing up. Raven followed closely behind, running her hand up and down Clarke’s back to sooth her urge to vomit.

 

“I can’t believe you bought that” Clarke berated Octavia, eyeing the picture she had on her hand

 

“Oh come on Clarke, you have to admit it’s pretty hilarious” Octavia held out the picture of them on the roller coaster. It managed to snap a shot of Clarke when she was screaming with her mouth open wide and the wind blowing in her mouth made it even wider, her face looked quite deformed to be honest. Everyone else was smiling and looked like they were enjoying themselves in the picture. Octavia didn’t mind spending 30 bucks to keep this picture so she could tease Clarke when they’re old and wrinkly

 

“I’m sorry mommy” Alexandria frowned as she handed her mom a bottle of water, feeling apologetic for dragging her to go on the roller coaster

 

“It’s okay sweetie. Mommy just need to sit down here for a bit. How about you go to bumper cars with auntie Raven and Octavia?”

 

“Can Captain Pretty come too?” The little girl grinned widely at the brunette whose ears were turning a little pink

 

“Of course sweetie” Clarke smiled and the little girl was scooped up in Octavia’s arms and the 4 of them headed to the bumper cars. She felt her stomach did a flip when Alexandria stretched out a hand for Lexa to hold, which the brunette took gladly.

 

“She likes Lexa” Anya said from beside her on the bench, capturing her attention. Clarke smiled and nodded her head, feeling a sudden surge of warmth to see her daughter taking a liking to Lexa “You know she’s trying really hard right?” Anya looked right at her, the corners of Clarke’s mouth curved up. She continued before Clarke had a chance to answer “I’ve never seen her this blissful before and I’ve known her since our navy days. In 4 days, you’re making her happier than all of her ex-girlfriends and one night stands combined in the 8 years that I’ve known her” Anya chuckled, as Clarke’s eyes trained on 4 figures from afar waiting in line at the bumper cars track.

 

Clarke shifted uncomfortably at the thought of Lexa being with other people, romantically or sexually. She tried to shake off the images of Lexa holding someone else, kissing someone else, and loving someone else the way she did Clarke. A sense of anger bubbled in her stomach, she clenched her fist, trying to not let it show. She knew her jealousy was irrational, because she herself had been with a handful of people even before Finn. But none of them ever made her feel the way Lexa did.

 

As Clarke visibly tense up and still not saying a word, Anya laughed out loud “Wanna relax there? You look like you’re drilling holes on the back of her head. Look, all I know about what happened in the past is through Lexa’s words so that might be just a little bias but I believe in my observations more than anything else. I know the way she looks at you, she never looked at anyone like that. She still has feelings for you, even my visual impaired cat can see that from 4 blocks away. She waited so long for a second chance and you know that girl will wait for you forever until you’re ready to give it to her. Just take that into consideration, will you?”

 

//

 

When they exited the theme park, the sun was half way disappeared behind the horizon. Alexandria was already fast asleep in Lexa’s arms by the time they boarded the shuttle bus that would take them back to the ship. The little girl got too tired from running around the huge theme park all day and Lexa volunteered to carry her. No protest coming from her mom or favorite aunties, simply because they were drained as well. As soon as Lexa scooped the girl up in her arm, she leaned her head against the brunette’s shoulder and quickly drifted to sleep.

 

The day had been much more fun than Lexa expected. After they came back from bumper cars, Clarke had recovered from her the roller coaster incident and joined in on all the fun. The bus started rolling as Lexa’s mind start to wander all over the place. She thought about how well Alexandria was accepting her, about the glint in Clarke’s eyes as the blonde looked at her when she was carrying the sleeping little girl in her arms, about how much they looked like a family in the picture Raven snapped of them with the mascot of the park. She let out a contented smile and hold the sleeping girl in her lap even tighter. _A family_

//

 

The bus made it back to the docks just as the sun shone its last ray of light. They quietly made their way to the cabin and Lexa gently lay Alexandria down on the bed and tucked her in.

 

“Captains, want to join me for drinks? Let’s go to the bar down the ship restaurant” Raven whispered, trying not to wake the sleeping girl

 

“Right now?” Both of the co-captains looked at her questioningly. Obviously they were all exhausted from being outside all day and all they wanted was a good shower and sleep

 

“Yeah right now. Come on, we can catch up. Talk about life and shit” Raven insisted. She also took a nap during the shuttle bus trip back so she was somewhat reenergized

 

Anya and Lexa hesitantly nodded. “Should we wait for Octavia and Clarke?” Lexa asked, looking at Clarke at the far side of the room digging through her luggage to find clean clothes and Octavia was taking a shower.

 

“Nah, they’re tired. Let them rest. Let’s go then!” With that, she told Clarke they were leaving and before the blonde could react, the trio was already out the door

 

//

 

2 hours later

 

Alexandria was awake from her long nap and was now reading the Harry Potter book she brought along for down times like this. Octavia was mad that Raven left without telling her but after a few complains and pouts, the woman was fast asleep. Clarke was sitting on the bed, her back against the headboard and watching the muted TV.

 

“Mommy what’s bothering you?” Alexandria spoke without looking up from her book

 

“How do you know?” Clarke sighed, turned off the TV and turned to look at her daughter

 

“Well, for once, you keep giving me glances when you think I’m not looking and two, you keep sighing.” She folded her book and set it on the night stand, giving her mom her full attention

 

Clarke looked at her daughter astounded. She always hated that Alexandria had such an amazing observation skill for a 7 year old. The girl can read her mom easily like an open book. Taking in a big breath, she wants to let her daughter know what was on her mind, but it was not easy for her

 

“What do you think if I started dating again? Not like, you know serious dating but like to get to know somebody else. I know it hasn’t been long since your dad and I broke up so if you’re not comfortable with that, I totally understand. You’re my number one priority and I would never do something that would make you-”

 

“She’s Heda, isn’t she?” Alexandria asked, cutting off Clarke’s ramble

 

“What?” Clarke’s eyebrow arched up at the seemingly random question

 

“Captain Pretty. She’s Heda, the girl in my bed time story. You know? The one you used told me almost every night before I go to sleep. The story of the girl who came from the sky, only to fall in love with the commander of the ground.”

 

Clarke’s eyes went wide “How did you know?”

 

“The way you described her in my story. Piercing green eyes, wavy brown hair, plump lips, chiseled jaws… I made the connection when I heard you and aunties talked about her at breakfast the other day. And the fact that I was named after her only solidify my argument so there’s no use of you denying it mommy” Alexandria shrugged

 

Clarke didn’t know what to say, she was busted. She had been telling made up story starring her ex-lover and herself to her own daughter. She felt like she could put a paper bag over her head to hide from the humiliation that was overtaking her

 

“Mommy it’s okay. You don’t have to be embarrassed” Alexandria climbed on her mom’s lap and circle her tiny arms around Clarke’s neck, pulling her in for a tight hug “I love you, and I love to see you happy. If Captain Pretty makes you happy, then she will make me happy too, so no, I don’t mind you seeing her. But just her though, she’s the only exception”

 

Clarke chuckled as a tear fell on her daughter’s shoulder. She was so grateful for such a wonderful, intelligent and understanding child. Pulling the little girl in even tighter, she let out a contented sigh. She would never trade it for anything, she would never have it any other way.

 

//

 

_THUD_

 

“Oh crap”

 

“Raven are you okay?”

 

“Shhhh be quiet they’re sleeping. This hurts like a sun of a gun though oh my god”

 

_CLICK_

 

Clarke reached out to the light on the night stand and turned it on, only to find a tipsy Lexa standing at the foot of her bed, with a very drunk Raven on the floor, clutching her foot.

 

“What the hell guys? Do you know what time is it?” Clarke groggily berated the drunk women in front of her

 

“Baby?” Octavia sat up, rubbing her tired eyes. At the familiar voice, Raven scrambled to her feet and crashed into her girlfriend

 

“Octavia Blake, do you know I know that I’m really lucky to have you? Like I love you so much that I terrifies me all the time, to know that you can break me, but I know that you won’t, right?” Raven slurred. She then leaned into capture Octavia’s lips with her own. The kiss started slow and chaste turned heated, hands started to wander and Clarke had to break it up by flinging a pillow at them. Raven fell on to the bed and drifted to sleep instantaneously. Octavia laughed as she tucked her girlfriend in and snuggled close to the snoring engineer

 

“Where’s Anya?” Clarke asked Lexa who was making grimaced face at the couple on the other bed.

 

“She left early because her shift starts earlier than mine. And I wanted to make sure Raven gets back safely” Lexa was facing Clarke, her hand fidgeting at the tank top she was wearing “Clarke, I was wondering if we could…uh…talk for a minute…like outside?”

 

Clarke slightly raise her eyebrow at the request but obliged anyways. She quickly got out of bed and grab her keycard, closing the door behind her

 

Now that they were outside, Lexa took in a deep breath to calm her nerves. Liquid courage coursing through her veins, she was really going to do it, _she had to do it_

“Clarke Elizabeth Griffin” The blonde was startled by the full name dropping, she looked confusedly at Lexa who seemed like she was having a hard time breathing “For the past 10 years, there was not a single day that went by that I did not miss you, Clarke. The feelings I have for you never faded, if anything, they grow stronger each passing moment. They motivate me to get up every day and improve myself constantly, so that one day when I run into you, you’d see that I’m worthy and let me redeem myself for my mistakes. I understand that this will be a long process before you can trust me with your heart again, but it takes as long as it takes, I will wait for you forever if need be. Fate already gave me a second chance by placing us here on this same boat, so will you give me a second chance as well? Clarke Griffin, will you go on a date with me?” Lexa finished her speech, her nervousness evidently on the beads of sweats on her forehead as she took a step back defensively, bracing denial. She determined that Clarke had to know how she felt, even if it would break her heart if the blonde say no.

 

Lexa felt like time had come to a halt as she and Clarke stood there and taking each other in.

 

“Yes”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think at the comment or wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com  
> Enjoy!

The morning of the fifth day, Lexa woke up with a widest smile on her face. Clarke had agreed to go on a date with her, Clarke had agreed to give her another chance. Her heart beat faster at the thought of the blonde and she realized she hadn’t even planned for their date. She quickly ran through her nightstand drawer to find the phone that she barely touched since there was no use of phones in the middle of the sea.

 

After placing a call to cash in a few favors, her date with Clarke was set and she couldn’t be more excited for their new start. She still had a few minutes before she had to go get things set up the ship activities for that day, she decided to facetime with her brother

 

After a few rings, a sleepy face appeared on her phone “This better be good Lexa Woods. I put out like 4 fires last night” Her brother chastised, she scoffed in return, knowing full well that he was glad to hear from her

 

“Lincoln, better get your ass up. It’s almost noon already” Lincoln mumbled something into his pillow that she could not make out “So I have some news for you. I met Clarke again”

 

Lincoln’s head shot up at the mention of the blonde, rubbing off sleep from his eyes “What? Seriously? On the ship?”

 

“Yeah, on the ship. She’s here with her daughter”

 

“Oh my god Lex. That’s huge” Lincoln was still shock from the news, unable to form words “Wow, Clarke huh?”

 

“Yeah, Clarke is here, and guess what, I’m taking her on a date tonight” Lexa smile grew wide, trying not to laugh as her brother’s jaws went slack

 

“Wow. That’s awesome Lex!” Lincoln exclaimed but his smile faltered a little bit “So I guess you told her what a jackass I was right? I’m sorry for reacting the way I did. After seeing how much pain you were in after Clarke moved away I knew I messed up. I didn’t understand your love, but now I do. Gosh, I wasted so much of your time Lex. You guys are meant to be; how could I be so stupid” Lincoln buried his head into his pillow

 

“Lincoln, it’s fine. She’s here now, and Clarke is giving me a second chance, that’s all that matters”

 

“Could you please tell her I’m sorry. I know I hurt her too” Lincoln looked at her with pleading eyes

 

“I will. I gotta go now, go back to sleep Linc. I’ll call you later” Lexa smiled at her brother, who offered her a weak smile back then the video got disconnected

 

She set her phone on the night stand and let out a sigh. Lincoln broke them up 10 years ago, there was no denying that, but she couldn’t bring herself to hate him. She lost counts on how many nights he slid into her room because he heard her cries through the wall. He would sit beside her on the bed and held her until she was too tired to keep crying and fell asleep. A couple months after Clarke left, he came home drunk off his ass and apologized to her in tears. That night, they both cried into each other’s shoulders and Lexa forgave him after that. Her brother never meant to hurt her, he was doing what he thought was right. When she came out to Aden, the boy just chuckled and said that her and Clarke were super obvious and that he was jealous of her for having the chance to date the girl of his dream.

 

Three years after Clarke, Lexa finally mustered the courage to come out to her foster parents. She was 21 at that time, and she could support herself and Aden financially if things turn sour. They didn’t take it well at first, but Lincoln protected her and helped them understand that there was nothing wrong with her, that love could never be wrong. It was a long process but they gradually came around. Now 10 years later, her brothers and parents were the biggest rainbow wearing allies she had ever seen

  
Feeling light on her feet, Lexa quickly jumped in the shower and get ready. Her day was going to be torturously long. She counted down to the minutes till her date with Clarke that night as butterflies erupted in her stomach

 

//

 

“Alexandria Griffin! Come here right now and let me put sunblock on you before you turn into a lobster” Clarke yelled at her daughter who was running around the beach with her new friends from the other day

The beach of Mount Weather was beautiful with white sand, and blue water so clear that you could see your little fishes as they circled around your feet. Clarke was sitting on a lounger under a big palm tree, Raven and Octavia on the one next to hers. The engineer was laying down with her head on her girlfriend’s chest, the hangover from last night’s antics was kicking her ass.

 

“Griffin lower your voice oh my god” She mumbled but still loud enough for Clarke to hear

 

Octavia just laughed and placed a kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead. “So Clarke, ready for your hot date tonight?”

 

“Do you guys think that I’m rushing into this?” Clarke said as she reached for the bottle of sunblock when she saw Alexandria coming toward them

 

“It’s inevitable princess, I told you. When it’s meant to be, there’s no running from it” Raven said with her eyes close, shielding the sunlight out of her overly sensitive eyes

 

“You’re ready Clarke, that’s why you said yes. I know you long enough to know that you only do things when you’re sure.” Octavia assured her

 

Alexandria came up in front of her and narrowed her eyes at Clarke “Mom please stop doubting it and have fun, you’ve been grumbling all morning” The little girl then turned her back to the blonde and spread out her arms “Sunblock me please, I don’t want to become a lobster”

 

Clarke chuckled and squirted sunblock on her hand then started lathering her daughter’s back

 

“Psh Alexandria” Clarke whispered as she finished the layer of sunblock, making the little girl to turn her head. Clarke eyed the dozed off Raven on the next lounger and looked back at her daughter with a mischievous smile on her face

 

“What do you people want with my girlfriend?” Octavia whispered, arm tightened protectively around her sleeping girlfriend

 

“Octavia Blake, surrender to one you called girlfriend and we will pardon you” Alexandria whispered confidently and Clarke rose to her feet, getting ready for battle

 

“Yeah okay” Octavia shrugged, leaving Raven to stand on the other side of the lounger. The engineer whined at the loss of contact and before she could open her eyes, she was lifted up by her arms and legs. She had no time to react as Octavia held her torso, Clarke and Alexandria got her legs and they were sprinting toward the ocean

 

“Put me down right now or all of you will regret this!!!” She screamed but it was futile. Next thing she knew, her whole body was thrown into cold, refreshing water. She quickly stood up, wiping water from her face “All of you are dead meat!” With that, she sprinted toward Octavia, who was too busy laughing to run away “Girlfriend of mine, why would you betray me like this?” She caught Octavia’s midriff and successfully dunked her in the water

 

With that sight, Clarke and Alexandria stopped laughing and ran away from Raven. But not even 10 steps later, a scream put Clarke into a halt

 

“Clarke Griffin, I hold in my hands your most prized possession. Come back and receive your punishment or else!” Clarke turned on her heels to see a struggling Alexandria in Raven’s arms, who was laughing manically

 

“Mother! Leave me and save yourself” Alexandria dramatically yelled, trying not to giggle

 

Clarke quickly made the decision. She sprinted toward Raven with all her might and the engineer set the little girl down, knowing too well what was about to happen “FOR MY PEOPLE” Clarke yelled out as she tackled Raven, effectively submerged them both in the water.

 

Moments later they both resurfaced and bawled out laughing at their pretend battle. Octavia came up behind Raven and hug her from behind, peppering kisses on her cheeks and shoulders

 

“Don’t think you’re off the hook Octavia Blake. You betrayed me” Raven feigned hurt but still leaned back and sunk into her girlfriend’s embrace.

 

//

 

“Really? You’re going with that dress?” Raven arched her eyebrow, eyeing Clarke up and down, the corners of her mouth turned down, not impressed

 

“What’s wrong with this dress?” She looked down at the spaghetti straps white sundress she was wearing with little yellow flowers pattern. She thought the dress was the best choice because it wasn’t too revealing but still show an appropriate amount of cleavage. “When I packed for this vacation, I didn’t exactly think that I would be going on a date with my ex-girlfriend”

 

“Well, I think you look really nice Clarke. It’s a perfect combination between cute and sexy.” Octavia winked, giving her a thumb up

 

“Whatever. My opinion stands. But Lexa would still think you’re the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth even if you were wearing a Hefty garbage bag” Raven smirked

 

“That’s true though, my mom will still look beautiful regardless of what she wears” Alexandria chimed in, earning a kiss on the cheek from her mom

 

_KNOCK KNOCK_

 

“Damn 7:30 on the dot. How much money yall wanna bet that she’s been standing outside for at least 15 minutes?” The engineer laughed as Clarke hurried to her feet to get the door, her heart jumping everywhere in her ribcage

 

Clarke swung the door open and her legs turned weak at the sight of her date. Lexa was holding a bouquet full of sunflowers, looking drop dead gorgeous in tight black pants and a lilac button up dress shirt with sleeves rolled up to her elbows, finished off with a skinny black tie. Her normally curly hair was straightened and left beautifully cascaded down her back. Lexa had on light make-up with just a little bit of eye liner, bringing out her gorgeous green orbs

 

“Hi” Clarke whispered when she finally caught her breath

 

“You look beautiful” Lexa smiled at her and Clarke felt like a thousand butterflies erupted in her stomach. “These are for you” The brunette offered the bouquet of sunflowers to her which she gladly accepted

 

“You want to come in for a minute to say hi?” Lexa nodded and followed Clarke inside the cabin

 

“Dang Captain looking good” Raven catcalled, earning a playful elbow to the stomach from Octavia

 

“Hi Captain Pretty!” Alexandria exclaimed, scrambled to her feet to stand on the bed and walked to where Lexa was at. She was now half a head taller than Lexa which gave her a perfect position to put her hands on the Captain’s shoulders, her blue eyes looking intensely into Lexa’s greens

 

The four women in the room arched their eyebrows, waiting to see what’s the little girl was going to do

 

“Captain Pretty, now that you are taking my mother on a date, I feel to obligated to warn you: Please do not hurt her for your own sake. My auntie Raven knows how to and likes to blow stuff up, auntie Octavia owns like a million guns, and I am a green belt in Taekwondo myself, so no good will come to you if you hurt her. Also she promised to bring me to the showing of Dr. Seuss at the ship’s theater tomorrow morning so please bring her back early” Alexandria smiled innocently at a slightly flustered Lexa

 

“Alexandria, I can assure you that I will not hurt your mom and I will make sure to bring her back at an appropriate time tonight so you won’t have to worry” Lexa nodded rigidly, feeling the heat rush to her face.

 

Octavia and Raven laughed as quietly as possible at the sight of Lexa. The normally cool and stoic Captain was nervous talking to a 7-year-old girl

 

“Sweetie, stop. You’re scaring her away” Clarke’s face reddened as she berated her daughter, who had a proudest smug on her face. “Let’s go” With that, she entangled Lexa’s hand with hers and dragged the brunette out of the room

 

“Be safe kids!” Raven’s yell was the last thing she heard before the door click shut.

 

“Wow and I thought dealing with your dad was nerve-wracking, your daughter is terrifying” Lexa said as she dragged her fingers through her hair and let out a breath she was holding. She finally noticed the position of their hands and smiled softly at Clarke, who chuckled and reassuringly gave her hand a soft squeeze

 

“So where are we going for out second first date?”

 

“We’re going in to town, and that’s all I’m letting you know for now” Lexa winked and Clarke felt her heart leapt to her throat. She was really going to do this; she was going on a date with her ex-girlfriend. The girl who she loved with all her might, the girl who broke her when she left without an explanation and strangely enough, with Lexa standing in front of her, their hands clasped together, every ounce of doubt and fear she had about giving them a second chance diminished. Uncertainty was replaced with excitement and eagerness as Lexa tugged at her hand, leading them to the docks

 

//

 

Their cab came to a stop at a busy restaurant, the simply decorated billboard on top of the building read “Grounders”. The place was kind of isolated from the loud and flashy downtown of Mount Weather Island. The place was right in front of the beach, and surrounded by palm trees. If it wasn’t pitch black outside, the view would be striking, Clarke thought. Upon entering the eatery, Clarke realized immediately that the place didn’t exactly have an amorous atmosphere. It was more like a family restaurant with crying babies and kids flinging food at each other. It’s not like Clarke didn’t like the place, it was warm and homey, just that it didn’t exactly fit Lexa’s romantic nature.

 

“Lexa!” A voice roared, making Clarke jumped a little and before she knew it, her date was swooped up by a big man and spun around, Lexa laughing like a little kid

 

“Gustus, this is Clarke, my date” Lexa gestured to Clarke after the man put her down. He smiled at her warmly and moved in to hug her, which she returned gracefully

 

“It’s so great to see you Lexa, and nice meeting you Clarke. I would love to catch up but I have to go into town to pick up a few things. Your table is ready Lexa” With that, he hurriedly headed to the front door

 

Lexa took Clarke’s hand again and led her through the busy restaurant. They stopped at the door that leads to the back and Lexa turned and smiled at her, the same smile when she was up to something “I kind of need you to be barefoot”

 

Clarke knew her questions weren’t going to get answered anyways, so she just nodded and before she had the chance to bend down to take off her heels. Lexa was already on one knee and started to unstrap her shoes. She looked up, signaling Clarke to hold onto her shoulder as Lexa lifted her foot up and remove the heel, one after the other.

  
“10 minutes into the date and I already got you on one knee Captain” Clarke grinned cheekily. Lexa just let out a light chuckle as a blush crept onto her face and started to remove her own shoes.

 

“Close your eyes” Lexa said as she rose with both of their shoes in one hand and took Clarke’s in the other

 

Clarke chuckled, _same thing again_ , and still she did as instructed.

 

And the far too familiar memory came rushing back to her. Lexa swung the door open, led her through the entryway and the salty ocean breeze rush through her hair, just like their first date

 

The sand sank underneath her feet with every step she took.

 

“Okay, open” Lexa turned to face Clarke, taking both of the blonde’s hand into hers

 

First thing Clarke noticed when she opened her eyes was greens staring back at her, so lovingly and so full of hope. They stood there, looking into each other’s eyes for far too long until a grumble coming from Lexa’s stomach interrupted them. Clarke chuckled as the brunette’s eyes widen and her face turned red, apologizing profusely.

“Let’s get this dinner date on the roll shall we” She teared her gaze off the brunette and looked to their left, where their “table” was set

 

There was a table in the middle of two small couches sculpted from sand with seat cushions on top of each. Once again, there was a vase of sunflowers on table, but this time, a bottle of wine was also present. A trench on each side, separating the seats from the table. Several candles were placed around the set-up, illuminated the whole scene. The sound of the waves lapping at the sand combined with piano playing from the small speaker on the table, effectively tripled the romantic atmosphere

 

Lexa stepped down to one of the trench and offered her hand to Clarke. After the blonde settled comfortable on her seat, she took hers on the opposite couch.

 

A teenage boy came moments later, hands bearing food. He set the plates on the table and smiled brightly at both of them “Miss Lexa, it’s great seeing you again. Miss Clarke, it is an honor to wait on a beautiful lady such as yourself tonight. Just press this button if you need me” He fished out a little buzzer from his pocket and placed it on the table  

 

“Artigas, stop hitting on my date before I tell on you to Gustus” Lexa narrowed her eyes at him and playfully chastised the young boy, who just grinned in returned and retreated back into the restaurant.

 

“Lexa Woods, do you always go big like this?” Clarke gestured to their table, the way it was set up to the little details of the flowers, candles and music.

 

“Only for you, Clarke” The name rolled of her tongue, with the little k at the end. The way Lexa said her name had an effect on her, always so gently and affectionately. She could feel the little hairs at the nape of her neck stand up at Lexa’s words. _Such a charmer,_ she thought

 

“So how did you set up this magical night Captain? I thought you were busy with the ship all day?”

 

“Well Gustus is the owner of this place and I called him this morning to ask for his help. I described what I had in mind and he delivered exactly just that. It was a little short notice but considering I saved his life in a battle with a pirate ship back in our navy days, he was more than happy to help.”

 

Conversation over dinner flowed naturally. Clarke couldn’t help but felt her heart soared at how right his felt, how right being with Lexa felt. They caught up about their lives in the past 10 years. Lexa told Clarke about her navy stories, the numerous times that she put her life on the line for her friends and country. The passion behind Lexa’s eyes made Clarke admired her even more. She was glad that Lexa found her calling and she knew that the brunette truly loved serving

 

“So why did you leave?” Clarke asked, sipping from her wine glass. Lexa visibly tensed up at the question, and Clarke immediately regret asking it. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

 

“It’s fine Clarke. I want to tell you, it’s just…” She stopped and took a gulp from her wine glass “Her name was Luna. We met the first day of boot camp and we clicked immediately. We became best friends in no time and we were super excited that we got onto the same unit after camp.” Lexa stopped, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall at the corners of her eyes. Clarke reached over and gave Lexa’s hand an encouraging squeeze

 

“She was fatally shot in battle, and died in my arms. I’ve lost so many people I held dear during those 4 years but losing my best friend was the last draw, so I left” She wiped away the tears and cleared her throat “Sorry, too heavy”

 

“It’s fine. We’re getting to know each other again, I want to know more about you, and let you know about me.” Clarke smiled at Lexa but her chest tightened, imagining the pain Lexa must have felt dealing with so many losses “Your turn”

 

“Tell me about Alexandria’s dad”

 

“His name is Finn Collins. He is handsome, nice, responsible-”

 

“You’re not still in love with him or anything like that right? Because if I didn’t clarify before, this is kind of a date” Lexa arched her eyebrow playfully, making Clarke scoff at her attempt to be dramatic

 

“No, I’m not in love with him. Yes, I know this is a date. Shall I continue?” Clarke asked challengingly and Lexa nodded, grinning widely

 

“I met him at a party during my junior year and he was only supposed to be a one-night stand but I got pregnant because the condom broke. After I found out, I contemplated not telling him but it was unfair to him, he deserved to know he had a kid, whether he wanted to be a part of its life or not. So I told him, and he stayed, we became official after that. He was a great boyfriend, an amazing father, but there was never any spark. I loved him, but I wasn’t in love with him. Things were good enough and I thought I could go on for the rest of my life but one day, he got on one knee after our dinner date and asked me to marry him. It hit me like a truck. Seeing his hopeful eyes with the ring in his hand I realized I couldn’t do it, so I said no, effectively ending our relationship. I know it was selfish, we have a daughter together, it was the right thing to do, it made sense to marry him, but I couldn’t do it”

 

“Well I’m glad you didn’t. It would be hella awkward for me if you were here on your honey moon instead of a break up getaway.” Lexa joked, earning a chuckle from Clarke. “You did the right thing. You did it for 7 years for your daughter, now it’s time you act for yourself”

 

Lexa rose from her seat and hop of out the trench, offering her hand to Clarke “May I have this dance?” Clarke grinned, and took Lexa’s hand.

 

The brunette’s arms snaked around her waist, pulling her close. Her arms loosely hugging Lexa’s neck and their bodies slowly swaying to the music, eyes fixed onto each other.

 

“Why did you name her after me? I mean I’m really flattered, just a bit confused that’s all” Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug, resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder. They let their bodies do its own thing of syncing with the music

 

“It reminds me of everything I’ve lost and what I’ve gained. I lost you, who I thought was the love of my life and I gained her, the real true love of my life.” Clarke nuzzled into the crook of Lexa’s neck “I know it’s silly, so don’t laugh at me”

 

“You really thought I was the love of your life?” Lexa pulled away just enough to look into Clarke’s eyes

 

“I did. Don’t tell me you didn’t, we were young, and madly in love. I wanted to spend forever with you.”

 

“I did.” She rested her forehead against Clarke’s, hugging her tighter. “I still do”

 

Lexa’s words startled her. Her eyebrows slightly raise, blues looked deep into greens, trying to find any sign uncertainty in her eyes. But instead, all she found was honesty and love.

 

“Do you mean it?”

 

“I do. I loved you when we were 18 and I love you now when we’re 28. I know I’ve screwed up so badly in the past but I want you to know that nobody can ever come between us again. I never stopped loving you, Clarke. I’m here to stay, as long as you have me”

 

“I believed that you were my soulmate Lexa Woods. When I lost you, it killed me, knowing nobody could ever make me feel the way you did again. But I found you again, and suddenly it’s not so easy to pretend that I’m not in love with you, because I do. I always do.”

 

Clarke leaned in, captured Lexa’s lips in hers. The kiss wasn’t urgent, or burning with hunger. It was soft, gentle, and familiar. They kissed like they did thousands times before, just this time, the kiss was full of hope and longing. It was like coming home after a long day. _They were finally home._

 

//

 

The whole cab ride back to the ship was spent in silence. Mostly just them holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes. Occasionally, one would lean in for a quick kiss, but it didn’t go farther than that. Lexa kept her promise and bring Clarke back to her cabin at 11:30 sharp.

 

“Do you think we’re rushing into this?” Clarke asked, their hands never part since they left the beach.

 

“Honestly, a little bit. I mean it’s only been 4 days for crying out loud. But it feels right to be back with you, to hold you in my arms, and to kiss you. We wasted 10 years already, we have to make up for lost time, don’t you think so?” With that, she pulled Clarke in and peck her lips then held the blonde tightly in her arms. “oh, and Lincoln wants me to tell you he is really sorry for being a jackass”

 

Lexa could feel Clarke smiled against her neck “Tell him it’s not that easy. He owes me lunch for at least a month”

 

“I’ll make sure to pass on the message”

 

They parted and with one final kiss goodnight, Clarke swiped her keycard and looked back at Lexa longingly, only to have the brunette closed the distance and captured her lips again. They got lost into the kiss then the door suddenly swung open, making them jumped apart

 

“So it’s literally taking you people 40 minutes to say good night. Stop being adorable little shits. You, go back to your captain’s cabin and you, get in here to spill the beans” Raven crossed her arms and looked at them challengingly. They both huffed in annoyance at the rude interruption

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Clarke asked

 

“You sure will. Good night” Lexa placed one final kiss to her lips and glared at Raven, who was grinning like a kid. Lexa turned to walk back to her cabin and Clarke playfully shoved Raven on her wait into hers

 

She wasn’t surprised to see her daughter and Octavia still awake, waiting for all the details about her date. She didn’t need to be asked, flopped herself down on the bed and started talking

 

“It was amazing. She took me to this restaurant…”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Octaven in the beginning and of course, Clexa being adorable little shits
> 
> Let me know what you think at the comment or wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com  
> All of your feedbacks mean a lot to me and are greatly appreciated. Thank you!  
> Enjoy!

The Bitanic left Mount Weather Island and traveled for Polis, their final destination before the trip come to an end. They spent their whole day by the poolside again. Drinking and chatting until the sun came down. Clarke didn’t see Lexa for the whole day because the Captain was busy mapping their route to Polis. The blonde tried her best to ignore the empty feeling in her stomach, knowing full well that was the result of lacking a certain curly haired, green-eyed beauty. After only one date, she was head over heels for the brunette again and she scolded herself for being so “easy” But who was she to resist? It was Lexa after all, _her_ Lexa. Dorky, grand romantic gestures, doe-eyed Lexa.

 

Her heart fluttered at the thought of Lexa but a sudden realization dawned on her

 

She realized they hadn’t really talked about the future yet. What did it mean for them? Were they back together? Was Lexa her girlfriend? The trip was coming to an end in 4 short days and once again the feeling of uncertainty took over her. She didn’t even know where Lexa lived! What if they lived on 2 opposite ends of the country and long distance never worked? Not to mention half of the time, Lexa was out in the middle of god knows where on this humongous ship. Her mind was going on overdrive, thinking about the worse situations. What if Lexa wanted nothing else but to make up for the pain she caused, and that was it for them when the trip concludes?

 

They needed to talk, ASAP

 

//

 

Evening of the sixth day, Raven came down with a terrible fever.  The engineer was laying on her bed with the blanket clutched close to her chest. Her face was red and her breathing was labored.

 

“106 degrees. Baby I’ll have to take you to the ship clinic” Octavia sighed as she looked at the thermometer. Her other hand running through her girlfriend’s hair

 

“I’m fine O. I’ll be running and kicking again after a nap. Geniuses don’t get sick babe”

 

“Well, you’re not a genius then” Octavia scolded, slightly annoyed at how stubborn Raven was being.

 

Right at that moment, Alexandria bounced in with Clarke closely behind, back from their playdate with Alexandria’s new friends. They immediately noticed the red-faced Raven on the bed

 

“Auntie Raven, are you okay?” She jumped on the bed, her little hand checking Raven’s forehead, face full of concern “Oh my god, you’re burning up” She cried, to which Raven just chuckled

 

“I’m fine Little Princess. I just need a nap”

 

Clarke chuckled “Oh how the mighty have fallen. You’re not going to die or anything right? Cause’ that would definitely ruin our vacation” She received a face full of pillow and a death stare from Octavia, only made her grin wider

 

“We need to take you to the clinic. You’ve been feeling bad all day but still insisted to stay out in the sun!” Octavia said as she tried to haul her girlfriend up but was stopped by Alexandria

 

“In my 7-year life, I have seen aunt Raven in much worse state than this. Auntie Octavia, let’s leave her alone to sleep it off and we can bring her back some soup”

 

“Little Princess is right babe. Just go to that magic show you’ve been talking about and bring me back food. I really need a quiet room right now because this headache is killing me” Raven groaned

 

“No way I’m going to leave you alone in this state” Octavia crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows at the engineer challengingly

 

“Pleaseeeeee. I need sleep right now. I promise you I’ll be better when you come back. Little Princess, take care of auntie Octavia for me?”

 

Octavia let out a defeated sigh, knowing there was no way to change the engineer’s mind. Reluctantly she rose from the bed and dropped a kiss to her girlfriend’s lips “I’m giving you 2 hours to get better. You better not die on me Raven Reyes” She stepped back and took Alexandria’s hand

 

Raven chuckled at her girlfriend’s exaggeration and gestured for them to leave her to her sleep now. She grabbed Octavia’s pillow and hug it tightly, turned towards the wall and it didn’t take long for her breathing to even out

 

“She’ll be fine O. We’ll bring her back some food and medicine.” Clarke said as she grabbed Octavia’s other hand and pulled them out of the room, shutting the door lightly behind themselves, careful not to wake up the sick girl

 

//

 

“I’m really worried about her. I hate leaving her alone when she’s sick” Octavia sighed as she settled on her seat of the ship’s small auditorium. She had been excited to go see the special magic show after reading so many good reviews on the internet, but her stubborn sick girlfriend was occupying her mind.

 

“We’ll be right back to her after this. She should be better by then. She’s tough, don’t worry O” Clarke squeezed Octavia hand reassuringly, to which she smiled back gratefully

 

Moments later, the lights dimmed, the audience took the cue and quieted down, getting ready for the show. The curtains pulled to reveal a masked magician standing alone in the center of the stage. It was hard to tell if the magician was a man or a woman because of the baggy clothing and cape, hiding all of their physical features.

 

The show started slow with simple card tricks, disappearing pigeons and sawing girls in half, just basic stuff. Octavia can’t help but wonder how the hell did this show get 4.5/5-star review when it was so damn boring, and the magician hadn’t even said a single word the whole show.

 

After about 6 or 7 boring, over done tricks, the magician did a hand gestured, signaling that this upcoming was the last trick and wanted to invite a member of audience in order to assist with the trick

 

The masked magician hopped off the stage and walked down the aisle, scanning the audience carefully for a volunteer. Octavia tried her best to avoid eye contact, praying she wouldn’t get picked, but it was like the magician could read minds, they stopped right at Octavia’s aisle seat, offered out a gloved hand and she had no choice but to take it and went up to the stage

 

She awkwardly stood at the X mark on the stage, waiting for the magician’s next move. A white small box was given to her along with a red marker, and the magician signaled for her to sign the box, which she obliged. She gave the box back and with a sleight of hand from the magician the box disappeared. It needed all of her will power to not burst out laughing since she clearly saw the magician shoved the box in a small compartment of the cape they were wearing

 

After a few exaggerated hand gestures the magician pointed to a suitcase that had been dangling from a chain on the ceiling. Slowly, the suitcase descended into their hands.

 

Octavia knew this trick all too well. The white box that “mysteriously disappeared” was going to be in the suitcase and kaboom end of trick. All she wanted was for the show to be over quickly so she can hurry back to check on Raven.

 

Predictably, the masked magician opened the suitcase, revealing the signed white box and the crowd erupted in cheers. Octavia played along and clapped half-heartedly.

 

The magician slowly made their way to her, and Octavia grew impatient because this person was taking their sweet ass time. The magician placed their hands on her shoulders to gently direct her   to face them. Suddenly, all the lights in the auditorium were shut off, leaving only two overhead lights shining directly above them.  Before she knew what was going on, the masked magician dropped to one knee, and the crowd went silent.

 

The magician swiftly removed the mask and the top hat, to reveal none other than Raven Reyes with the biggest grin on her face. Octavia’s hand moved to cover her mouth, tears welling at her eyes, her heart racing. Raven reached for her girlfriend’s hand and interlaced their fingers.

 

“Octavia Blake, love of my life. You know I’ve never been good with words so instead of giving you a big sappy, romantic speech, I’m just going to tell you what’s been weighing on my heart. Before I met you, I had always thought that love was for idiots who had nothing better to do. I spent years living life like there was no tomorrow, that is until I met you. Now, I go to bed every day, praying to wake up tomorrow, so that I can have another day to be with you, to love you and to be loved by you. For the past 6 years, we fought, we cried, we made up, we pushed each other to be a better version of ourselves and I can’t tell you how much of an honor it has been for me. And now, I want us to enter a new chapter of our lives, where we continue to grow with each other, but as wives. I want to wake up to you every day, make a battlefield out of our kitchen as we try to make breakfast, fight over movie selection with you, and hold you in my arms every night when we sleep.” Took in a shaky breath, Raven brought up the white box, opened it to reveal the most beautiful round cut pink diamond in the middle, accented with smaller diamonds on either side, with a white gold band “Octavia Blake, will you marry me?”

 

“YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!” Octavia dove right into the kneeling girl, arms wrapped around her neck tightly. She could no longer contain the tears, as they were now flowing freely down her cheeks. She buried her head in the crook of Raven’s neck and the engineer’s head resting on her shoulders. They both got lost in each other’s arms, oblivious to the audience that had erupted in cheers and awe

 

Raven pulled back, removing the the ring from its box and hurriedly slip it on Octavia’s finger. She leaned in capturing her fiancé’s lips in the most searing but purest of kiss, a kiss of promise to spend their lives together. 

 

//

 

“Holy cow, Raven that was fudging impressive! How did you do it?” Clarke exclaimed as she hopped on stage, pulling both of her best friends in a congratulatory hug

 

Raven dropped a kiss to Octavia’s temple, and wiped her thumb over the tear on her fiancé’s cheek “I had a few accomplices” She shrugged

 

From the wing of the stage, Anya and Lexa rushed in, both grinning like children. They quickly hugged Raven and Octavia to congratulate on the successful proposal.

 

Clarke’s heart soared at the sight of Lexa, who moved to her side, slung an arm over her shoulder and dropped a feather kiss to her temple

 

“Hey you” She murmured, just enough for Clarke to hear. The blonde relaxed into Lexa’s side and snuggled into the crook of her neck. They were sinking into their own little world until the sound of fingers snapping brought them back

 

“Hey hey, don’t try to steal our spotlight with your love-struck grins!” Raven narrowed her eyes at them, drawing a laugh out of the group

 

“When did you guys have time to set it up? Not to mention how did you do the magic tricks?” Octavia cupped her fiancé’s cheek, who still had a shit eating grin on her face.

 

Anya shook her head and chuckled “She asked us when we went to get drinks 2 nights ago. It was rushed but this was the best we could come up with. And the audience who were here with you were the ship’s employees. Don’t think for a day that we would let our guests see the lame show that Reyes put on” Anya smirked “And for the magic tricks, we had a real magician teach her the basics yesterday. Reyes learned quick”

 

“No wonder you guys ditched us! And you’re not even sick are you! And you didn’t even let me in on it” Clarke exclaimed

 

“You blab Griffin. I can’t tell you a secret like this. Your daughter, on the other hand, was in on it as well” Raven grinned as she scooped up a little girl with an extremely proud look on her face “She was on Octavia duty. She had to make sure that you guys would leave me in the room so I could go and prepare for the show. And you did a great job Little Princess” Raven placed an obnoxiously loud kiss on the girl’s cheek

 

“I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me. You’ve been getting it ready the whole day haven’t you?” Clarke scowled and Lexa moved to wrap her arms around the blonde’s waist from behind, effectively wipe off her pout

 

“We’re sorry. To be honest it wasn’t fun, Raven is really meticulous about how she wanted everything to be. It was hell setting all of this up” She said, making Clarke chuckled, leaning into Lexa a bit more, feeling her warmth

 

“We need to talk” Clarke whispered, barely enough for Lexa to hear but she could feel the Captain tensed up, and her smile faltered “It’s nothing bad, I promise. Meet me at the deck at 10 okay?”

 

Lexa swallowed thickly and nodded. Her heart jumping in her ribcage, thinking about all the bad things that would make Clarke _want to talk._ That was never a good sign. Regardless, she wanted to be happy for her friends right now, and whatever was bothering Clarke would be addressed tonight. She pushed back the worries and tried to focus on the group’s banter

 

The group’s conversation was laced with laughter as Clarke and Alexandria calling out Raven on all the rookie flaws they noticed during the show and Raven defended herself, threatening to blow stuff up if they wouldn’t stop teasing her

 

Octavia, on the other hand, was still dazed from the surprise proposal, her eyes glued to Raven’s every expression and every move as she excitedly chat with their friends. She was immensely happy, no doubt about that. She was going to marry Raven Reyes, the girl who liked to blow stuff up, the girl who made her feel more loved and wanted than anybody had in her whole life. Suddenly, the idea of forever didn’t seem so long anymore, now that she got to spend it with the love of her life.

 

//

 

_2 nights ago_

_“I need a huge favor from you guys” Raven said as she played with the glass of vodka soda in her hand “I want to propose to Octavia, and I need your help”_

_Lexa and Anya’s heads popped up at the sound of the word propose. They grinned excitedly at the engineer, who was now having a hint of blush on her face_

_“Wow Raven Reyes settling down? I never thought I’d live long enough to see that day” Lexa teased, taking a sip from her scotch. She was immeasurably proud of the engineer. Raven Reyes was a player in high school, strings of one-night stands, lying, cheating, you name it. But now the girl was going to ask someone to marry her, to be tied down for life, and Lexa couldn’t help but grin like a fool, glad to know Raven had found her soulmate. “What can we do for you?_

_“Well I kind of have this idea. Originally I want to propose after dinner on a beach, but that’s overdone and boring. But now, the captains and I know each other on the personal level, right?” She said, wiggle her eyebrows and nudged Lexa with her elbow, who just let out a breathy laugh in return “I want something big for her, she deserves all the good in the world so I was thinking if I could borrow your auditorium and put on a fake magic show, have your employees there…” Raven explained her plans to the captains, nodding along as they listened intently_

_“We can definitely work that out for you” Anya simply shrugged, making Raven jumped off her seat and pulling her into a hug which she only returned with a few awkward pats. Then she moved and hug Lexa, who was more enthused to hug her back_

_After a few more minutes of thank you’s and excited squeals, they settled back to their seats for a second round of drinks, this time, shots of tequila, in celebration of Raven’s proposal_

_“So Woods, what’s going on with you and Clarke? Anything new?” Anya removed the lime from her mouth, wincing at the alcohol burn_

_“I don’t know any more Anya” Lexa sighed_

_“Do you love her? Like love her present tense, don’t give me that I used to bullshit” Raven signaled the bartender for another round of shots, this time she wanted vodka_

_“I do. I want nothing more than to be with her again. But I don’t know how she feels about me, I don’t know if she’d give me another-”_

_Raven smacked the back of Lexa’s head before she could even finish the sentence, earning a glare from the brunette, she just shrugged_

_“How many times do I have to tell you this to get through that thick head of yours? I’ve seen more life in her eyes in the past couple days than in the 7 years she was with Finn. I liked him enough but I never thought he was the right person for Clarke. He didn’t understand her, not the way you did. He is a good dad, yes, but he could never truly make Clarke happy, and I think he was well aware of that too. You guys are meant to be together. But I have to say this, as her best friend, I have to protect her. Last time when you pulled that crap, you broke her, literally. She locked herself in her room for 2 weeks. She didn’t eat for days and stayed up all night crying. When she started college, she threw herself in a string of one night stands. That went on for 3 years and Finn happened. Alexandria healed her, snapping her in her place because she knew being a parent was more important, and her daughter had to be her first priority. She told you she dropped out of art because she wanted a more stable life for Alexandria right? That was only half the truth, she lost her muse. She stopped drawing and painting for years. As corny as it sounds, I know you were her muse, you inspired her. I’m not telling you these things to guilt-trip you, I just thought you have to know these things. I never want to see my best friend like that again. So unless you’re 100% sure, stay away from her.”_

_“I love her Raven. She’s the love of my life and I want to fix us”_

_“Will you stay even if things get bad? Even if somebody tries to get between you? What about when she gets home from a fail surgery and she’s a bloody crying mess? Or when Alexandria grow to be a snarky teenager who annoys the living hell out of you?”_

_“Nothing can ever take her away from me again. Nothing” Raven looked intently at Lexa’s determined eyes, searching for dishonesty or hesitation_

_She found none_

_Their new round of shots arrived just before Lexa finished her sentence. Raven raised the shot glass to Lexa and Anya “Take the leap, Lexa. Ask her out, she’ll say yes, I guarantee it. To new beginning” They all downed the shot and immediately winced at the taste of the alcohol_

_“This time if you fuck up again, I’ll blow you up for real.”_

_//_

She quickly cleaned up her work station at the control room as soon as the clock strike 9:45PM. Shoving all the paperwork in the cabinet, she waved goodbye to Monroe and Anya then picked up the pace to head for the deck.

 

It was fairly early so the ship was still live with music and people dancing, chatting, and drinking the night away. The weather was beautiful with a light breeze and clear sky. All the stars and moon shining brightly, illuminating the dark night.

 

She got a couple of minutes to spare so she made her way to the bar and ordered drinks for herself and Clarke, hoping the alcohol would calm her nerves and prepare for whatever it was that Clarke needed to talk about. Holding 2 glasses of amber liquid, she settled on a lounger away from the music and the crowd, patiently waiting

 

“There you are” 

 

She looked up at the beautiful blonde whose blue eyes shone far brighter than any stars and moon could. Clarke smiled gently at her, and the corners of her lips automatically quirk up, and warmth instantly spread all over her body. She quickly drew her legs up, making room for Clarke to sit at the end of the lounger and offered her the glass of scotch

 

Clarke shook off her sandals and sat crossed legs on the lounger, facing Lexa. They both looked at each other timidly, taking occasional sips of alcohol. She was nervous. She didn’t know what Clarke wanted to talk about but the look on the blonde told her that it was quite serious. She leaned over, reached for Clarke’s hand and brought it to her lips. She gave each knuckle a light kiss, then ran her thumb over them affectionately, waiting for Clarke to start talking.

 

“We need to talk about our future. You know, about what are we going to do after the trip” Clarke finally said, the hesitation evident in her eyes

 

As soon as the words got to Lexa’s ears, her eyebrows shot up.

 

All the tension seemed to left her shoulders as she let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. Considering all the depressing scenarios she thought of mostly involved Clarke changing her mind, regretting giving her another chance, talking about the future didn’t even cross her mind. _She could definitely talk future_

She let out a shuddering laugh, making Clarke frown and nudged her with her foot.

 

“Lexa, I’m being serious”

 

“Sorry, Clarke. It’s just… I’ve thought of so many bad things that could make you want to talk; the future was…not exactly bad to me” She chuckled again. The sound effectively took all the tension out of the air.

 

She could see Clarke relax too. But the there was still worry in the blonde’s eyes

 

She placed her glass of scotch on the table next to them and pulled at their clasped hands, Clarke immediately took the hint. She turned, settling between Lexa’s legs, her back resting against Lexa’s front. The brunette’s arms snaked around her waist and pulled her closer.

 

“I honestly don’t know about the future, Clarke. But I know one thing for sure that I want to spend it with you. I’m never letting you go again.”

 

“I hate you and your damn charms” Clarke huffed, but she still blushed at the brunette’s words “Where do you even live when you’re not working?”

 

“I have an apartment in New York, 150 W 85th St on the Upper West Side. I moved back there after I left the navy so I can be close to my family”

 

“That’s…really close to me! I live on 521 West 82nd Street! Lexa oh my god, how come I’ve never ran into you before” Clarke exclaimed, she turned around, cupping Lexa’s face with both of her hands. Her eyes were getting glassy as relief washed over her. _They could do it, there was a future for them_

 

“I’m never home, Clarke. Half of the time I work, the other half I stay with my parents and Aden up in Westchester. I have the place just to have it, it’s more like a storage space than home” Lexa shrugged. She peeled one of Clarke’s hand off of her face and kissed her palms then laced their fingers together “Clarke, even if I was living across the country, I’d drop anything to come to you if you want me to. When we come back, I’m going to take less trips so we can spend more time together. I want to get to know you again, as well as Alexandria. I’m serious about us, Clarke. We’re going to be okay”

 

Clarke nodded, tears of happiness overflowed and falling from her eyes. Lexa was mesmerized by the blonde. Tear-stained cheeks, tousled hair, yet, Clarke was still the most beautiful sight she every laid her eyes on

 

She leaned in to kiss away every tear drop

 

“We’re going to be okay” She whispered when her lips landed on the tear below Clarke’s eyes

 

“We’re going to be okay” She kissed away the tear on her cheek

 

“We’re going to be okay” This time the tear at the corner of Clarke’s mouth

 

Each kiss showed her absolute faith and confidence, and love

 

Finally, she brought her hand up and tangled in blonde hair, bringing Clarke’s lips to her own. Their lips moved together in sync, as Clarke’s hand gripping at her hips. She swiped her tongue over the blonde’s lower lip, asking for entrance, which was gladly granted. Their tongues danced together as Clarke moved in closer, deepening the kiss. The blonde gently bit down on the lip, eliciting a moan from her and the kiss grew more heated

 

When the need for air became too hard to ignore, they pulled away, resting on each other’s forehead. She brought her hand up and wiped away a tear she missed on the blonde’s cheeks

 

“We’re going to be okay”

 

Clarke finally said. This time with absolutely certainty. No more fears and doubts. _They’re going to be okay._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with finals! Only a couple chapters left, I hope you guys will like this update. Every feedback and comments are greatly appreciated. Talk to me at wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com

The ship finally docked at Polis after a whole day of traveling. The young city was beautiful and vibrant with countless of attractions and entertainment. Clarke was excited to spend the day with Alexandria and Lexa at the city’s famed waterpark. Raven and Octavia were gone at the crack of dawn to celebrate their engagement, leaving only a note on Clarke’s bedside table to not wait up for them. Clarke, with Alexandria’s hand in hers, was heading to the ship’s restaurant to have breakfast with Lexa before they leave for Polis

As soon as she pushed open the door, her stomach churned at the sight

Lexa was leaning on the hostess podium and chatting animatedly with the girl behind it. She said something, making the girl laughed out loud and Lexa herself had a wide grin on her face. _Stupid grin._ The girl moved her hand on Lexa’s as the captain paid her no mind and kept talking. The hostess laughed again, this time purposely throw her head forward, resting on Lexa’s arm.

Lexa politely retracted her arm from the girl’s grip but the girl was persistent. She leaned forward, whispering something in the captain’s ears. Her lips so freaking close to Lexa’s ears and Clarke could hear her blood boil, all she saw was red.

Her jaws clenched, nostrils flared and her grips on Alexandria’s hand tightened. She gently pulled the little girl and walked right past Lexa, into the restaurant.

“Clarke” She ignored her call and kept walking

“Clarke, wait up” She heard Lexa’s steps quickened and a hand was placed on her shoulder, which she shrugged off without even turning around and took a seat along with Alexandria at the nearest table

Lexa, still baffled at Clarke’s attitude, hesitantly sat down on the chair across from the blonde

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Lexa frowned, her eyes darting back and forth from one Griffin to the other.

 _“You’re in trouble”_ Alexandria mouthed and clearly not able to suppress a devilish grin

Clarke was still ignoring the captain’s pleas, her eyes focusing on the menu, but for sure she wasn’t reading. 

Lexa was dumbfounded, she had no idea why Clarke was mad. She thought their talk last night went really well and she was excited to go the waterpark with Clarke and Alexandria

Lexa looked at Alexandria, pleading for help. The little girl cleared her throat and nodded towards the entrance door, where the hostess podium was and realization dawned on Lexa

Her mouth formed an _O_ and her stomach churned in a very good way at the fact that Clarke freaking Griffin was jealous. She was amused. No, ecstatic, would be a more accurate word.

Clarke peering up from the menu and saw that Lexa was grinning like a fool at her and she got even more irritated. She huffed and turned her attention back to the menu.

“Clarke, baby, are you jealous?” She narrowed her eyes at the grinning Lexa, and she could hear Alexandria quietly giggling beside her, so she shook her head no, trying to contain the hint of red that was creeping on her face

“Are you sure? Because I was going to invite Harper to have breakfast with us. I was in the middle of telling her about this amazing first date I had with this blonde beauty couple nights ago” Clarke closed the menu, eyes seeking out for a waiter, and continued to ignore Lexa

“I told her how the blonde beauty is my first love, how special she is, how her eyes sparkle, her hair shine, and how my heart jumps out of its cage whenever I see her” Lexa’s hands reached out to place on top of Clarke’s, her thumb ran soothing circles on the blonde’s hand

Clarke jumped at the gentle touch, her eyes drew back to Lexa who was still having a shit eating grin on her face. Her eyes softened as the captain pressed a kiss to her knuckle, while green eyes were still locked with her blues. She could feel her jealousy subsided, still, she gave Lexa a playful glare

 “You’re cute when you’re jealous”

“Oh my god please stop this” Alexandria gagged “If I had known, I would hide in auntie Raven’s bag. They are not nearly as gross as you and Captain Pretty” She exclaimed, earning a laugh from the two women

“I won’t be so sure about that, Alexandria. They did just get engaged after all” Lexa shrugged, then leaned forward to place another kiss on Clarke’s hand, making the older Griffin beam, as she could no longer suppress her smile, and the younger grimace

“I should have set ground rules stating that you cannot be gross around me! Oh how stupid of me”

//

Breakfast past by with a breeze as Clarke and Lexa laughed and laughed at Alexandria’s dramatic attempts to escape and find Raven and Octavia. The little girl was quickly tempted when Lexa promised to bribe her with ice cream when they get to the waterpark

Clarke was now lathering sunblock all over Alexandria while they wait for Lexa to finish changing into her swimsuit. The jungle themed waterpark, called _Grounders,_ was packed with people of all ages. She was super excited when Lexa proposed to go to the waterpark last night, having read so many positive reviews on its website. She could clearly see why, though. On ground level, Clarke could see colorful waterslides, with entrances from towers that were at least 5 stories tall, placed all around the park. Wrapped around the premise was a calming lazy river that seemed to be the most crowded attraction. They also had a huge heated pool that looked amazing to lounged on.

Clarke looked up just as Lexa was exiting the changing room and her mouth immediately went dry, dumbstruck

Lexa was wearing black bikini top and bottom, her hair pulled up in a pony-tail, but that wasn’t why Clarke lost her speech ability. Her eyes trained on Lexa’s midriff, where her abs were clearly visible. Clarke counted, and there were really 6 of them. They weren’t huge like a body builder’s abs, but they were perfectly sized and Clarke had to fight the overpowering urge to reach out and trace them

The captain cleared her throat and Clarke’s eyes looked up to find Lexa’s green orbs staring right into hers. Her mouth forming her signature smirk “Could you sunblock me too?”

Clarke was burning bright red. This was the third time Lexa caught her staring. _Third time!!_

Alexandria, oblivious about the exchange, still fixated on the water slides as she took a seat next to Clarke, waiting for her sunblock to dry

Lexa turned her back to her then crouched down, and Clarke’s breathe hitch

On Lexa’s back was a huge tattoo of lines and circles that she Clarke didn’t quite understand but it looked amazing on her and it went very well with the tribal tattoo on her arm

Clarke reached out and traced the lines, entranced by its beauty

“Each circle represents a foster home that I was in.” Lexa explained

Clarke’s throat clenched at the scars on Lexa’s back. Cuts, and burns mostly. It wasn’t her first time seeing them, but the markings of the brunette’s childhood never failed to send shards through her heart

She touched a new scar on Lexa’s right shoulder, knowing the wound had been recent because she had never seen it before

“It’s a bullet wound. The guy who shot and killed Luna shot me too when I left my cover to get to her”

“I’m sorry” 

“Don’t be. Now hurry up and sunblock me before the sun comes down!” Lexa said, trying to lighten up the mood

Clarke cleared her throat and squirted sunblock on her hands and start spreading the cream on Lexa’s back. The touch, despite its innocent nature, sent goosebumps all over Clarke’s body, leaving a warm feeling in her stomach, her head, and her heart.

//

“So you’re telling me you don’t like rollercoasters but you like waterslides?” She raised her eyebrows at Clarke. The blonde was grinning excitedly as they were getting ready to go down a waterslide on a circular tube. Alexandria gripping at the handle tightly, her level of enthusiasm comparable to her mom’s

“Yes! Waterslides are much better! There’s no fear of it flinging you to the other side of the park!”

“Makes sen-” Before Lexa could finish her sentence, the operator pushed at the tube and off they went.

The slide was lit with LED lights, sharp turns and twists nearly threw them off the tube as their laughs echoing through the slide. They landed in the water moments later and Clarke hopped off the tube and excitedly head for the next waterslide, Lexa and Alexandria trailing behind

“So, are you really okay with us dating?” Lexa asked with all her seriousness

“I am. You’re making her really happy. I mean, I don’t think she’s ever been unhappy, but with you, it’s a different kind of happy. She glows”

“You’re so smart, but I guess people tell you that all the time huh?” Lexa chuckled, feeling contented that she earned Clarke’s daughter’s approval

“They do” The little girl grinned smugly

“So you would be okay with me sticking around after the trip right?”

“Yes, Captain Pretty. But please, cut down on the mush”

//

They were now sunbathing on their tubes as they flow freely on the lazy river. Clarke’s hand was intertwined with Lexa’s and her foot hooked on one of the handle on Alexandria’s tube so they wouldn’t float apart.

“We haven’t talked about this morning” Clarke spoke up, her eyes still closed

“You mean when you got adorably jealous when I was innocently chatting with one of my employees?” Lexa teased

“It wasn’t innocent on her part!” Clarke huffed “She was blatantly flirting with you. I was mad but then I know I had no right to be. It’s just… I don’t want anybody to touch you like that, to be so close to you…” She shifted on her tube so she could look at Lexa. She knew that she overacted this morning but seeing the girl touch the brunette like that sent her head in an overdrive. Clarke was never the possessive type, but seeing the hostess getting so close and personal with Lexa, she could not help the uncomfortable twists in her stomach.

“You have every right to be mad, Clarke. I’m yours. I’ll make sure to let everyone know that” Lexa squeezed her hand lightly as she turned and their eyes locked. Her lips quirked into a shy smile that made Clarke blush.

“Mine?” She asked, her heart pounding in her ears. She knew where this conversation was heading, and God, she wanted it. Originally she decided to wait until they came back from the trip, she would take Lexa on a proper date and ask if the brunette would be official with her. But seeing the events that took place in the morning, she could no longer wait, she wanted Lexa to be hers so bad. Hers and only hers.

“All yours” Lexa assured

“My girlfriend?”

“Your girlfriend, your rock, your shelter, your home. All yours”

//

That night, they got back to their ship pretty late. They spent their whole day at the waterpark and had dinner at one of the best burgers places in Polis. Clarke was so glad that her daughter was taking their relationship with Lexa so well. They chatted enthusiastically during dinner when Lexa asked the little girl about what she wanted to do in the future, and she didn’t hesitant to give Lexa a list. Number one was to be a politician, so she could bring change to the world. Number two, to be an astronaut, because Raven talked about space as bedtime stories whenever she slept over at the engineer’s house and it really intrigued her. Number three, to be a doctor, just like her mom

She was now sleeping comfortably in Lexa’s arms as they slipped into the cabin in silence. Clarke wasn’t surprised to find the room empty. Raven and Octavia were definitely spending the night celebrating their engagement in town.

Clarke’s heart swell when Lexa gently lay Alexandria on the bed, dropping a kiss to her forehead and tucked her in. When Lexa straightened up, Clarke circled her arms around her girlfriend’s neck and pulled her in close. _Her girlfriend._ Her heart palpitated at that thought. Her smile grew wider when she felt Lexa’s arms circled around her waist and Clarke’s head buried into the crook of her neck. They stood and held each other in the darkness of the cabin, the only noise was Alexandria’s light snoring.

It felt so right to be in Lexa’s arms again. Her heart was filled with happiness and serenity. She was certain she had only felt this way two other times in her life. Number one, when Lexa whispered _I Love You_ for the first time, well over 10 years ago. Number two, when she held Alexandria and looking into her blue eyes after 26 hours of labor. Number three, right now, when _the one who got away,_ came back

“I love you” She murmured “Stay with me”

“I love you, too, Clarke” Lexa placed a kiss on her temple and nuzzled closer “I’m never letting you go again, my love.”

“What if I never gotten on this ship? What if we never found our way back to each other?”

“Well then I’m sure I’d live the rest of my life with my 5 corgis in some island in the middle of nowhere, praying to the gods every day that you would find happiness.” They both chuckled at the image of an aging and grumpy Lexa yelling at her 5 dogs. “But fate brought us back together, you gave me a second chance, and Alexandria accepted me. I don’t think there are words that can describe how lucky I am, Clarke. So thank you, for everything”

“Thank you for loving me”

“Thank you for letting me love you”

//

2 months later

They were lounging on the couch at Clarke’s apartment, the blonde had her feet in Lexa’s lap, drawing on her sketchbook and Lexa lightly messaging her calves, but she was so unfocused and her nerves were running at full speed

“Lexa, I can literally hear you thinking” Clarke said, still concentrating on her drawing

Before she could answer, a light knock on the door made Lexa’s heart jump. She closed her eyes and let out the longest sigh, the dreaded day had finally come. Clarke sat up, and reached over, giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze

“Lexa, it’s going to be fine, don’t worry okay?” She nodded at Clarke’s words but her heart not feeling any lighter. Clarke leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. Clarke cupped her face and gently ran her thumb on Lexa’s cheeks. As if the actions gave her more courage, she turned to kiss the palm of her girlfriend’s hand and nodded, indicating that she was ready.

They both rose from their seats and came to get the door. Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat and swung the door open

“Pumpkin!”

On the other side of the door were Abby and Jake Griffin with the biggest smiles on the face as they greeted at their daughter, who had an equally shining grin.

They walked in, enveloped Clarke in a sandwich hug and even though the blonde voiced out some complains about not being able to breath, her arms still stretched out and wrapped around her parents.

Lexa stood awkwardly, hand still on the door knob and the other stuffed in her slacks pocket, eyes looking anywhere but at the Griffins, especially the older Griffins, who, she was so sure, hated her.

Abby and Jake finally let go of their daughter and shifted their attention to Lexa, who immediately froze as their eyes fell on her. She felt like all the colors were drained from her face as Jake stepped closer to her. She held her breath, and jaw clenched shut, ready for anything the man would throw at her.

“I missed you, kiddo” Jake enveloped her in a bear hug that left her eye wide and mouth agape

It took her a few moments but she finally gathered herself and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Well, that was…unexpected” She said breathlessly when she stepped back from the hug.

She had been a nervous wreck for nearly 2 weeks now, when Clarke told her that Abby and Jake wanted to have dinner with them. She seriously considered eloping with Clarke and Alexandria, just to avoid seeing the couple. She was terrified. Well, how would you feel when your daughter is back together with the jackass who broke her heart after 10 years? If she were them, she’d kick her own ass, that’s for sure.

“Lexa” Abby smiled at her. The smile was polite, but it wasn’t genuine. She doctor was definitely guarded of Lexa.

“Dr. Griffin” She nodded, as the uncomfortable feeling at the pit of her stomach twirled more violently. Lexa somewhat expected Jake to despise her for breaking his little girl’s heart, but Jake being Jake, the man literally had no fiber of hatred in his body, accepted Lexa back with no second thought. On the other hand, Abby was never a woman with many words, but every look and every move she made had a meaning. The look she gave Lexa was filled with doubt, and distrust, which was exactly what she anticipated. Abby wasn’t going to welcome her back with open arms, she needed to work to build up the trust again, and Lexa was more than willing, if that meant she could get the woman’s approval to be by Clarke’s side again.

 _“Told you they don’t hate you”_ Clarke whispered to her ears, but not low enough because Jake chuckled and Abby gave them an amused smile

“Please, we could never hate you kiddo. You’re a part of the family. Once a family, always a family” Jake said “Alexandria with Finn?” He poked his head in the apartment, looking for his favorite granddaughter

“Yeah, I asked if he could look after her tonight, which he was more than happy to accept”

Lexa needed to show Clarke’s parents that she was serious about a long term relationship with Clarke. She planned to explain herself and her behavior 10 years ago to them, putting all her cards on the table, and clearly state her intentions with Clarke now. And of course, apologize for all the trouble and pain she had caused. She wanted the conversation to be 100% honest, adults to adults, so she had suggested Clarke to let Alexandria stay with Finn for the night

“I guess I’ll see her tomorrow then. Now if you ladies are ready, our reservation at the Ark awaits”


	10. Chapter 10

The tension surrounding the dinner table could be easily sliced with a knife. Small talks were made between Lexa, Clarke and Jake, but Abby mostly stayed silent and focused on her food. Clarke occasionally dropped her hand to Lexa’s thigh and gave her reassuring squeezes to calm her nerves, but it was hard to relax with the cold and stoic looks that Abby was giving her.

They talked about Lexa’s years in the navy and Jake, clearly impressed with her stories, teared up when she talked about the friends she lost, and the hardship she went through. She gave herself a mental pat on the back when she saw Abby also wiped away a tear.

“So, you girls have been official for 2 months now?” Abby said as she placed her fork and knife over her plate and calmly looked up at Clarke and Lexa. Well, mostly Lexa

“We are” Clarke nodded as she took Lexa hand and laced their fingers together. The brunette’s heart pulsated at the question, the main reason of the dinner had finally revealed itself. She took her half-filled glass of wine and gulped it down in one go. Both Clarke and Jake chuckled at the action, but Abby’s face was still stern. She shakily placed her wine glass on the table and inhaled sharply

“Mr. Griffin-”

“It’s Jake, Lexa”

“Okay. Jake, Dr. Griffin, first and foremost I would like to offer my deepest apologies for my actions and the consequences it ensued 10 years ago. I want you to know that I did what I had to in order to protect my brother, it was never my intention to hurt Clarke. I was madly in love with her, and frankly, I still am, always will be. I understand that you may not trust me or deem me worthy of being with your daughter, but I plan to stick around and prove to you that I love her more than life itself, and I will do whatever it takes to earn both of your blessings to be by her side” She let out a shuddering breath as she finished the mini speech. Her heart beats got louder when none of the Griffins said anything and all eyes were trained on her. Jake simply looked at her with the softest eyes and a kind smile stretched across his face. Clarke leaned over gave her a kiss on the cheek, her grip tightened on their intertwined hands.

“I love you too” Clarke brought her hand up and cupped her face affectionately. She got lost in eyes bluer than the sea for a brief moment until Abby cleared her throat, effectively catching the lovers’ attention

“Lexa, if you want to be with my daughter, and she wants to be with you, we cannot stop her. You two are grown women and have judgement of your own, and there is nothing we can say to change it. But I still want to say this. Clarke has a daughter now; things are much more complicated than when you were teenagers. If anything happens to your relationship, not only my daughter will be hurt but my granddaughter will be too because I know that she’s grown very fond of you. So I want you to take both Clarke and Alexandria into consideration every time that you make a decision regarding your relationship. I don’t doubt your intention with Clarke, I can see the love for her in your eyes, it burns much stronger and brighter than before, and I know she feels the same for you.” She paused, and Lexa felt like her insides were being set on fire under the doctor’s gaze. Abby sighed, and continued “But that didn’t stop you from leaving her. I don’t trust you Lexa, not yet at least, but I’m ready to be proven wrong, knowing nobody could ever make Clarke happy the way you do.”

“Dr. Griffin, thank you so much for understanding and I will do whatever it takes to prove to you and Jake that I want to spend the rest of my life making Clarke and Alexandria happy” She said, her voice full of confidence. She met Abby’s stare and her heart erupted in cheers as the woman gave her an approving nod and barely there smile, but it was definitely there

“The rest of your life?” Clarke asked, and Lexa’s face turned cherry tomato red when she realized what she just said

“Um, I mean…not right now, but you know eventually. No pressure or anything but-” Her stammering was cut off by a swift but searing kiss from Clarke. Her face got redder when Jake and Abby started laughing, Clarke joined in not long after.

“Lexa, I don’t want to be the typical dad who threatens to kick your ass you if you hurt my daughter and granddaughter, mostly because I know Raven has that part covered, but I will kick your ass and THEN Raven will blow you up”

“I think Alexandria will kill me first. She has gotten really good at her karate chops” She said and the tension significantly alleviated as the table erupted in laughter. She felt like she could finally relax after all her cards were laid on the table. Honesty felt good. Plus, she could see Abby’s gaze somewhat soften and she was joining on the conversations, laughing along to jokes

“So, what’s the plan for the future?” Jake asked as he set down his empty glass of wine, and signaled the waiter for another one

“I’m working less trips now so that I can spend more time with Clarke and Alexandria. If you’re worried about our finance, I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about. For the past years, most of my money has been going to my saving accounts, so I can absolutely take care of them.”

“That’s what a father want to hear. I know Clarke is more than capable of taking care of herself and Alexandria, but having you beside her can ease the responsibilities.” 

Jake said as he raised his newly refilled wine glass and Lexa’s eyes nervously shifted to Abby, who had her glass raised as well, she had a subtle grin on her face and Lexa could feel the tension leaving her shoulders. Her and Clarke exchanged a smile and raised their glasses as well

“To Clarke and Lexa” Jake toasted then bringing the wine glass to his lips and emptied it, everyone else followed suit.

//

“Clarke, we have to go pick up Alexandria. Finn got called in to work unexpectedly” Lexa said as she dropped her girlfriend’s phone back to her purse after reading the text. Clarke nodded as she did a U-turn to make their way to Finn’s apartment.

They got to the building not long after. Finn and Alexandria were already on the streets when she pulled the car up to the curb. His face lit up when they exited the car as he gently whispered something to wake up the sleeping little girl in his arms

“I’m so sorry to interrupt your night. But something happened and I have to go in to do some damage control” He said apologetically as he set Alexandria down and smooth out his suit. He shot Lexa a greeting smile and nodded, to which she returned politely

Lexa liked him. Nice guy, good dad, good hair, and he wasn’t a huge ass when it came to Clarke and Lexa’s relationship. He was a campaign manager for some politician and despite his weird schedule, he always tried to spend as much time as he could with his daughter.

“No worries, we were just heading home anyways” Clarke said as she leaned down and kissed her sleepy daughter on the cheek. Alexandria groggily hugged her mom’s leg and nuzzled her head on it. Lexa watched the interactions as she leaned against the car, partly because she was feeling buzzed due to all of the wine earlier, and she expected them to leave soon because Finn looked like he was in a hurry

“You guys are such cute a family”

Some random lady said as she walked pass them and Lexa’s eyebrows shot up. Her stomach churned uncomfortably at the the words. Clarke whipped around to clarify but the lady was already gone. She looked up at Lexa apologetically, who in return offered Clarke a small smile and simply shook her head.

This wasn’t the first time she had felt like an outsider when they all hung out together. So many people had complimented on how cute Finn, Clarke and Alexandria looked together as a family, while she was just standing there like a fool. Alexandria looked so much like Clarke and Finn, anybody would jump to that conclusion, and she completely understood that, but it didn’t stop the hurt to spread across her body. So this time, like any other time, she just swallowed it and smiled as the pain slowly settled itself at the pit of her stomach

//

“I’m sorry for what happened earlier” Clarke said as she exited the bathroom and into their bedroom. Technically they weren’t living together because Lexa still had her own apartment, but whenever she wasn’t on cruise, she would spend her nights at Clarke’s place.

“It’s fine” She shrugged and eyes never leaving her phone

“I know it’s bothering you, so stop saying it’s fine and talk to me” Clarke climbed on the bed and took the phone out of her hands. She sighed and finally looked at her girlfriend. The hurt at the pit of her stomach stirred violently as Clarke cupped her face with both of her hands, forcing Lexa to look at her

“There’s nothing we can do about it. Let them think what they think.” She sighed and kissed the palm of Clarke’s hand “You guys do look like a family, I’m just an outsider” She mumbled and immediately regret the moment the words left her mouth because the hurt evidently showed on Clarke’s face

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry” She said, quickly catching her girlfriend’s wrists before she could pull away

“You can’t say stuff like that. You know I love you, and Alexandria loves you. We are a family!”

Lexa stayed silent, her hands still clutching Clarke’s wrists, afraid that if she let go, the blonde might disappear. Blue eyes were stained with hurt and anger and greens just stared back hopelessly. Lexa bit down on her lips, afraid to say something that she might regret. But the wine coursing through her veins and the loud beating of her heart clouded her judgement. So she broke

“What if one day you decide that I’m not enough? That Alexandria would need a father in her life and you would leave me and go back to him?” She whispered, barely enough for Clarke to hear.  All the insecurities and doubts that had been building in her broke out of its cage: every time someone made a comment about Clarke and Finn, every time Clarke happily hung up after a phone conversation with him, every time Finn greeted her with a hug and Alexandria would join in. Each and every time those things happened, it felt like droplets of water slowly filled up the box she was trapped in. It was fine at first, but eventually, she was drowning. Drowning in fears, hurt and doubts.

Clarke said nothing as she wiped a tear from her eyes. She broke her wrists free from Lexa’s grasps and left the bed. Lexa’s shoulder slumped when she thought she royally fucked up this time. Her lips trembled and her eyes got glassy as Clarke headed for the door. She wanted to scream, to tell Clarke that she was sorry, to tell her how much Lexa loved her.

To her surprised, Clarke walked to her side of the bed and offered out her hand, waiting for Lexa to take.

She looked at the hand, and up at Clarke, who had tear streaks down her face and Lexa mentally kicking her own ass for making her girlfriend cry. She hesitantly took her hand, Clarke led her out of the bedroom, and into the room at the end of the hall, Clarke’s studio.

The blonde flipped the light switch as light spread across the room filled with paint splatters and colorful canvases. Lexa was very confused as to why Clarke had led her here. The doctor let go of her hand and she instantly found herself craving the warmth. _How can she ever live without Clarke again?_

Clarke stepped closer to a sliding door in the corner of the room and looked at Lexa who was still standing at the entrance.

“I understand that you’re hurt and doubting my love for you. So if you need proof that for the past 10 years, I’ve loved you and only you, here they are” She finished the sentence and slid the doors open, revealed a small closet of all sizes canvas and old sketchbooks.

Clarke stood still with her arms wrapped around herself. Lexa’s heart broke seeing how seemingly small and hurt Clarke looked. Her eyes focused on a dot of paint on the opposite room, refusing to look at the brunette. Lexa fought the urge to reach out to pull her girlfriend into her arms and apologize for being a stupid insecure mess, instead she let out a shaky breath as she took timid steps toward the closet.

Her heart sunk and she felt like her legs were starting to give in as each steps got heavier when she finally realized what Clarke wanted to show her.

Paintings and drawings of her. Stacks and stacks of them. Oil, watercolor, charcoal, on paper, on canvas, on pieces of Starbucks napkins.

Her hands shook when she reached out and traced the line on a painting of herself in watercolor on one of the stacks of canvases. She turned and took one of the sketchbooks in her hand and looked back at Clarke, who gave her an approving nod and she started flipping through the pages. Some drawings were of Alexandria, some of Raven and Octavia but the last pages were mostly her. Some were of her: sleeping, reading, doing mundane activities, or just of her eyes, her lips, the shape of her face. She put down the sketchbook as tear welled at her eyes and a silent sob escaped. She started to look through the canvases, a lot of them were dated years ago, and her heart broke to even more pieces

“I lied to everyone, making them think that I stopped drawing and painting after you left me. Truth is I couldn’t draw anything else but you. Every time I picked up a pencil or a brush, you would come to my mind voluntary or involuntary, drawing you was my only way to feel close to you. I hope you’re not creeped out or anything” Clarke spoke as she stepped behind Lexa, her hand nervously rubbing the back of her neck “If you need proof, here they are. This is how much I love you”

“Clarke…I-” She stammered, words stuck in her throat as one painting in the corner caught her eyes. A painted version of the picture of Clarke, Alexandria and herself taken at Wallace World on a big canvas resting against the wall

“It was supposed to be a surprise; I know it’s your favorite picture of us. It’s not finished yet but I want to hang it in the living room when it’s done. I started painting again when you came back into my life. All of this…” She gestured toward the studio, beautifully decorated by stunning, and full of life paintings “…happened because of you. You are my muse, Lexa”

“I’m so sorry Clarke. I’m letting this stupid insecurity taking over me, I don’t know why I’m acting like this.” Lexa stood up and face Clarke. She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair, unable to form more words as guilt overflow her. Another tear escaped her eyes, followed by another, and another. She had never felt so much like an asshole before. She let her fears and insecurities took over, and hurting Clarke in the process.

Clarke closed the distance between them and capture Lexa’s lips between her own. She could still taste the salty tears that still lingered on her girlfriend’s lips

Clarke was the one to broke the kiss then she rested her head in the crook of Lexa’s neck. Goosebumps spread all over her body as she felt Clarke’s hot breath on her skin

“I love you and Alexandria so much. Who cares about what those random people think. We are a family”

 “It’s you, Lexa. It’s always been you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Please let me know what you think through the comments or hmu at wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter of my story. I thought a little something to distract us from the devastating events of tomorrow will help. I hope you guys will enjoy it

_One Year Later_

Clarke was woken up by a gentle stir from the body pressed up against her back. She felt a kiss dropping to her shoulder, and the arm trapped under her slowly retracting carefully. When Clarke realize what was happening, her heart throbbed. She let out a sigh and turned around, wrapping her arms tightly around her girlfriend, keeping her from escaping from their bed.

“Stay” She mumbled as she buried her head in the crook of Lexa’s neck. The brunette chuckled and tightened her arms around Clarke’s shoulder, dropping a kiss on the top of her head

Lexa was due to leave to go on a cruise for 14 days to god knows where. It was during summer so the Captain had to go on as twice as many cruises. Some of them were ridiculously long and to extremely remote places that they couldn’t even Skype each other because there was no cell signal whatsoever. Clarke loathed those days.

Over the past year, their relationship was going marvelously well and Clarke found herself fell in love with Lexa more and more each day. With a little reasoning, Lexa had finally agreed to get rid of her place and officially move in with Clarke and Alexandria, and they were, as Raven would often describe, “disgustingly and adorably domesticated”

Alexandria had taken an extremely liking in Lexa. So much that Octavia and Raven pouted on countless occasions, complaining about how they were no longer the little girl’s favorite. To which Alexandria always gave them reassuring kisses, effectively wiping the frown off of their faces. The little girl had also gotten close to her Uncle Aden. Whenever they got together, all they did was discussing about their plans on how to achieve world peace and which was the best Disney movie, both discussions often ended in an _agree to disagree_ and ice cream truce.

Aden was elated when they told him about the news of their reunion. Clarke remember the way his face lit up as he jumped in and wrapped them in a group hug while muttering threats of stealing her from Lexa if the brunette messed up again.

Clarke and Lexa made peace with each other’s families ultimately. Lexa earned Abby’s trust and blessing after one whole year of tirelessly proving herself worthy, and Clarke warmed up to Lexa’s family after seeing that their efforts to get to know her was genuine, and they really wanted Lexa to be happy.

Clarke, Lexa and Alexandria were gloriously happy together. The little girl still called Lexa _captain pretty_ , but sometimes, when Lexa and Clarke tucked her into bed, a half asleep Alexandria would wish her _mommy and mama_ goodnight. The fact that the little girl was comfortable enough to call Lexa mama kept a smile stretched across Clarke’s face and butterflies spread all over her stomach. Their little family was radiating so much warmth and love, that even a person on one of those remote islands Lexa went to could see their glow.

But the relationship wasn’t perfect, of course. Like any healthy couple, they had their disagreements. But 90% of their fights were out of frustrations of not being able to see and talk to each other when Lexa was on cruise. Even though Clarke felt like she would be used to Lexa leaving by now, but it got worse and worse each time she woke up and her girlfriend wasn’t there. Clarke understood that Lexa loved the sea, and it was her passion, but it didn’t necessarily make her feel better. She wanted Lexa there, all the time. But she knew she was being selfish and she would never ask Lexa to give up on something that she loved so much, so all she could do was bite her tongue and wait patiently for the day that Lexa would be back in her arms

Clarke laid her head on Lexa’s chest, listened intently to her steady heart beat and enjoyed the the feeling of the brunette’s fingers drawing random patterns on her bare back. She wished time would stop, so she could cherish this moment forever.

“If I don’t get ready in the next 30 seconds, I will be late and I’m pretty sure Anya will leave my ass”

“Then let her leave you so I can have you for the next 14 days”

Lexa chuckled as she did her best to peel herself off Clarke’s embrace, and this time Clarke let her. She stood up from their bed and made her way to the bathroom, not a cloth covering her body. Scratch marks ran up and down her back from their night of ravishing each other, knowing they had to be apart for 14 whole days

“Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go, baby”

 “Dork” Lexa laughed out loud at her cheesy line. The sound effectively filled Clarke’s heart with warmth and sadness at the same time. 14 days is a long ass time when you’re this much in love

Clarke glanced at the clock and realized it was only 4:15AM. She got out of bed and blindly put on shorts and a t-shirt, decided that she would make Lexa her breakfast before she had to leave. As she was finishing their plates of bacons, omelet and coffee, she felt strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a smile crept on her face.

“You’re the best” Lexa murmured after dropping a kiss her on cheek

“You’re going to pick out wedding dress with O today right?” Lexa asked, popping a piece of egg in her mouth, humming at its divine taste.

“Yeah, and she has tickets to this art exhibit at a new gallery downtown, we’re going to check that out too”

“See? After today, it’s only 13 days left” Lexa tried to cheer her up, reaching over the table and interlaced their hands together

“Urgh, don’t remind me” She grimaced, 13 days were still too long.

Breakfast was quickly shoveled down in comfortable silence after that and they were now standing at the front door in each other’s arms. Clarke taking in the smell of Lexa’s strawberry shower gel and her apple shampoo. The combination was weird, but it mixed well on Lexa, and it was intoxicating to Clarke.

“I’ll be back in a flash okay? I love you” Lexa said as she pulled away and captured Clarke’s lips in her own. The kiss was quick, and left the doctor wanting for more, but she knew Lexa was already late so she took a step back and watched the captain gather her suitcase

“I love you, too” Clarke said and Lexa shot her a smile before gently shutting the door behind her. Clarke’s shoulders deflated as she let out a tired sigh. Lexa was gone again, leaving a hollow feeling in her guts.

//

“Griffin, please stop brooding, you’re literally making these marshmallow-y dresses look depressing” Octavia complained, her hand running over the rack full of wedding dresses

“I’m sorry O, first days are always the worst” She sighed as she blindly pulled out a wedding dress and grimaced when she realized how ugly it was

“I know, which is why you’re my dress picking assistant. I thought these fluffy dresses could cheer you up” With that, she threw another dress onto the maybe pile

“They are helping a little bit” She smiled at a low cut strapless ball gown kind of dress, decorated with a simple silk belt in the middle. The dress was beautiful, too bad Octavia didn’t like ball gown, otherwise it would be a perfect choice. Her heart pulsated a little with the thought of wearing it herself on her wedding day. Lexa would be waiting for her at the end of the aisle, they’d hold each other hands as they say _I do,_ people would erupt in cheers and they would spend their lives together, happily.

“Looks like you’re eyeing that one for yourself” She snapped out of her day dreaming, looking up to find a smirking Octavia looking at her.

“Whatever” Clarke felt her ears getting a little hot, she turned away, hiding her rosy cheeks from Octavia’s knowing eyes

“Do you want to?” O gathered all the dresses she picked out and headed toward the dressing room “Marry her I mean. You know, your time together picked up where you left off, not restart, so you guys have been together for 5 years, now” She said loudly behind the curtains. The bridal shop was a bit high end so they got the private room all to themselves. There was also an attendant at the corner of the room, ready for all their needs. Clarke couldn’t help but think she was in an episode of _Say Yes to The Dress_

She flopped down on the couch to wait for Octavia’s first selection, contemplating the question asked. Hell yes she wanted to marry Lexa, but she wasn’t sure if her girlfriend felt the same way. She absentmindedly scrolled through her phone to check if she had a text from Lincoln, telling her it was time to pick up Alexandria from the sleepover last night with his kids. There was none, so she dropped the phone back to her purse, fingers brushed against a lump in the zipper compartment of the purse. She sighed, unzipped the pocket and pulled out a velveteen box, popped it open and admired the antique ring inside it.

“So?” The curtains of the dressing room abruptly open and revealed an Octavia clasped in a knee high strapless dress that makes her look like a high schooler going to homecoming.

Clarke didn’t have time to put away the ring when Octavia’s attention fell onto the box in her hand. The younger woman’s eyes went wide and her mouth agape when she realized what it was. She sauntered over and grabbed it out of the blonde’s hand. The white gold band was decorated with a delicate and unique round cut alexandrite stone. Simple, but elegant.

“Oh my god Clarke, this is beautiful”

“I bought it 3 months ago. I didn’t want to get diamonds and I saw this in an antique store. The stone matches her eyes.” She smiled dreamily at the object that had been weighing on her heart.

“When are you going to do it?” Octavia asked, still mesmerized by the ring in her hand

“I don’t know. Everything she’s done for me is huge and so romantic, so I want to do the same for her. I kind of have an idea in mind but I’m not sure if she’d like it”

Octavia rolled her eyes and snapped the box shut “Clarke Griffin, that woman is so in love with you, even if you get down on one knee in sweat pants and oversized hoodie in your kitchen, she’d say yes” She handed the box back to Clarke with an encouraging smile

Clarke grinned at Octavia, and put the ring back in her purse “I want to recreate our first date, you know, rooftop, string lights, movie and all that jazz. I’ll just have to find an appropriate time” Octavia gave her shoulder a squeeze, making her attention shifted to the dress O was wearing, and she made a face at the offending object “That thing is ugly, please don’t marry my best friend in that”

Octavia threw her head back as laughter erupted from her throat “Noted, Griffin” Octavia said over her shoulder, disappearing again behind the curtains

“What about you? Are you excited to be tied down forever?”

“Honestly, sometimes I’m terrified. The idea of marriage had always been so elusive to me. But every time I look at her, I just know in my guts that there’s nobody else I would ever want to spend eternity with. I love her, and I know she loves me, that’s all that matters”

With that, the curtains parted open. Octavia smiling brightly, clad in a beautiful, strapless white dress that hugged her body at all the right places

“This is the one, isn’t it?” Clarke asked, while Octavia nodded enthusiastically, admiring herself in the mirror

“This is it. I’m marrying the love of my life in this dress”  

//

After the dress was purchased, they made their way to the new gallery downtown that Octavia got tickets from one of her buddies on the squad. They walked in and Clarke was taken aback just a little by how many people were inside. She grabbed a pamphlet and started flipping through the pages. The gallery was housing 2 exhibitions by 2 new artists.

She walked through the first exhibition, excitedly giving Octavia random art facts or her commentaries on the artwork in front of them. Clarke was genuinely surprised that Octavia hadn’t wanted to leave yet, seeing how the cop was never the artsy type. Clarke grinned to herself, so amused and appreciative, that Octavia was putting herself through torture, just to cheer her up

After wandering in the first exhibit for an hour or so, they found a hallway that was leading to the second one. Clarke frowned to herself, surprised that the hallway was deserted. Considering the amount of people there were in the first one, it was kind of weird. She shrugged, linked arms with Octavia and made their way towards the double door, thinking to herself that the second guy must be a scrub, but she still wanted to see it anyways

She got close and she could not hear any noise whatsoever behind the door, inside must be empty too. She pushed the doors open and was met with darkness. Confused, she looked back and there was a sign with an arrow, clearly stating that they were at the right place. She looked at Octavia, who had a mischievous smile on her face, edged her toward dark and silent room.

Before her mind could process what was going on, a single overhead light was flipped on, revealed a figure standing in the middle room. She frowned and narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out the familiar figure. Her eyes went wide and her heart dropped to the floor when she finally realized who it was

Lexa was standing there, looking straight at her, clad in her finest tuxedo, hair in braids and a smile stretched across her face.

Clarke’s heart was beating in her throat as she got closer and closer to her girlfriend. Tears were already welling up at her eyes when she stepped in the light with Lexa, who was still having a smile plastered on her face.

Lexa reached over, taking both of Clarke’s hands in hers

“What are you doing here, you dork?” Clarke said as a tear rolled down her face

“I quit”

“What?” She certainly wasn’t prepared for this piece of information.

“I can’t stand being away from you for so long anymore. I want to wake up every morning with you, and go to bed every night with you, so I quit” Lexa grinned, taking a step closer toward the blonde

“No, Lexa, the sea is your home, I can’t ask you to do that for me” Clarke shook her head as guilt engulfed her. She knew how much Lexa loved the sea, she didn’t want to be the reason for Lexa to quit something that she held so dearly.

The brunette chuckled, and let go of Clarke’s hands and cupped her face, wiping away the tears with the pads of her thumbs

“No, you’re my home, Clarke. The only reason that I’ve ever loved the sea was because it reminded me of you. When I was 19, I lost you, I lost directions of my life and then I found the sea. It was calming and peaceful for me, and then I realized why. Whenever I looked out to the vast and unwinding sea, it feels like I was gazing into your eyes. If drawing me on Starbucks napkins was your way of feel closer to me, my way of feeling closer to you was being out in the sea. Plus, my new job is not exactly away from the sea. I’ll be a Recruit Division Commander, which means I’ll be training new navy recruits. They’re building a new boot camp here in New York, I applied, and got the job. I’ll be leaving for work at the crack of dawn, but at least I get to come home to you every day” Lexa explained, and the tears were still freefalling on the blonde’s face

“I have another surprise for you” Lexa leaned over and dropped kiss to Clarke’s forehead and all the lights in the room were turned on, revealing their friends and family standing at the far corner of the room, each and every one of them has a bright smile plastered on their faces. But what got Clarke more surprised was the beautiful and colorful artworks lining the room.

They were _hers_

“I hope you don’t mind, Raven and I moved all of your favorite pieces here, Octavia was kind of a distraction to get you out of the apartment. This is your own exhibit. I kind of submitted your work to the owner of the gallery and he loved it. He loved it so much that he wants to do an exhibit with you every 3 months. So, welcome to the professional art world, Miss Clarke Griffin”

Clarke couldn’t control her tears anymore, she covered her mouth to somewhat stifle the sobs, but it seemed that it was failing. Her heart soared as her eyes trailed over the canvases. Her dream finally came true. The dream that she let go of the day she chose to be a doctor, finally came true, and it all thanks to the woman standing in front of her

She pulled Lexa in the tightest of hugs as happiness overcame her.

Lexa stepped back and captured Clarke’s lips in hers. The kiss was short because Lexa pulled away abruptly, leaving Clarke confused

“Now that your dream has come true, will you make mine come true as well?”

Her heart picked up its pace again when she knew exactly what Lexa’s dream was

_“Mine is to marry the girl I love, and have little Lexas running around.”_

“But before I ask the big question to you, I have an equally big question to ask somebody else” Lexa smile and walked toward their family and friends, who all looked at them with adoring eyes. The brunette scooped Alexandria up in her arms and made her way back to Clarke. After setting the little girl down, Lexa took both of the Griffins’ girls hands in one of her hands and got down on one knee

“Alexandria Griffin, will you do me the honor of allowing me to take care of you and your mom for the rest of my life?”

“Of course, _mama”_ The little grinned, wiping away a tear from her eye

“Now, Clarke Griffin, love of my life, I don’t have a speech prepare for this moment. I tried so hard to write one but there is just no word to express how much I love you. So I’m going to save us all some time, and just go for it.” She cleared her throat and fished out the box in her jacket pocket. She struggled to open it with one hand, earning a round of chuckle from Clarke and Alexandria, as well as their friends and family in the back

She finally got it open and Clarke was mesmerized. A round cut diamond resting on top of a white gold band, with smaller diamonds all around the band.

“Clarke Griffin, will you marry me?” Green eyes stared straight into her, hopeful, yet confident

“No…”

Lexa’s eyes went wide and her mouth agape, she could hear the crowd behind her gasp and she realized what she had said

“Yes, oh my god, of course yes I’ll marry you! What I meant was, no, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way! I was going to propose to you first!” She said frantically as she took out the right in her purse and showed it to Lexa, who had relief visibly washed over her.

She leaned down and kissed the brunette. Lexa stood up, hastily removed her ring from the box to slip it onto Clarke’s fingers, with their lips still attached. Clarke pulled away and put her ring onto Lexa’s, and they got lost in each other again. They smiled into the kiss when the crowd behind them clapped and ignored the wolf-whistle, obviously coming from Raven

“I love you so much”

“You’re my home, Clarke. You and Alexandria and whatever children who might have in the future, you’re my home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it! Such a great ride with you guys! Thank you so much for all of your support. Talk to me at wish-i-were-a-squid.tumblr.com and let me know what did you guys think of the ending!


End file.
